5 Surprising Moments That Catch You Off Guard During a Separation

After my partner’s unfortunate confession about our relationship’s state, I knew separation was the best path for both me and my kids. I was prepared for the emotional rollercoaster ahead. I had my comfy pants ready, tissues at hand, and a stash of frozen cookies — I was bracing for the feels!

I anticipated sadness, confusion, and maybe even a tinge of relief. I expected challenging moments like parent-teacher meetings and holiday gatherings. I was ready; I researched every tip and trick I could find online, bookmarking sites, and mentally preparing myself.

But then there were the moments that caught me completely off guard, like snapshots frozen in time over the past year. If you’re navigating a separation, allow my surprises to illuminate what you might face, so you won’t feel alone.

1. The Retainer Check

I found myself writing a retainer check to my attorney on a colorful unicorn-themed check. It struck me as absurdly funny, and I instinctively wanted to share a laugh with my ex — but he wasn’t there. Oh, right.

2. The Courtroom

Standing alone in that formal courtroom with its drab carpet, I raised my right hand and thought, “Judge, how deep do you want to dive into the truth? Want the nitty-gritty of my hopes and fears?” Turns out, he just wanted the facts about the mountains of paperwork before him. My entire marriage reduced to stacks of legal documents.

3. The Doctor’s Office

When the sweet nurse asked if my emergency contact was current, I was taken aback. How much should I reveal? Would she see the hurt from the betrayal plastered on my face? I whispered through the window, “No, change it to my brother, please.”

4. The Well-Meaning Colleagues

The colleagues who pop up infrequently but remember my life enough to ask about my “husband” were the worst. Their faces as they realized their faux pas were priceless, but oh so awkward! It’s more uncomfortable for them than me, but still, yikes.

5. The Pet Adoption Lady

Sometimes during a separation, you might adopt a quirky cat who requires special care and has a bit of a limp. It’s a decision that brings joy amidst chaos, but then you’re faced with the application asking about your marital status and household stability. It’s hard to project confidence when you say, “No, he moved out last week, but yes, I’m totally ready to welcome a new furball into my life.”

My unexpected moments during this separation have been a mix of humor and sadness. The weight of the situation can hit you at the strangest times, but rest assured, it does get easier. For every awkward conversation I’ve endured, I’ve received just as many “me too” responses from others who’ve been in similar situations. Vulnerability often brings out the same in return. This isn’t your finest hour, but it’s certainly not the worst, and remember, you’re not alone. The best thing you can do is set the tone for your story — and don’t forget to laugh a little, because sometimes that’s the only way to cope.

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Summary:

Navigating a separation can bring unexpected and surprising moments. From funny check-writing incidents to awkward conversations with colleagues, it’s important to remember that you’re not alone in this experience. Embracing vulnerability and humor can help lighten the load.