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I Tried Kegels, But I Still Wet Myself When I Sneeze
There I was, in the bathroom, desperately trying to attach a pad to my underwear when my little one strolled in and exclaimed, “Oh! Look! Mommy’s wearing diapers?!” The thing is, I wasn’t even on my period. What I was dealing with was a weak pelvic floor, which I thought could be fixed by religiously doing Kegels.
Every time I cough, sneeze, laugh a little too hard, jump on a trampoline, shout, jog, run, bust a move to a Beyoncé song, or even yawn too widely, my bladder seems to throw a party, and I end up wetting myself like a toddler. After delivering my first child naturally and having an emergency C-section for my second, my body didn’t bounce back as swiftly as all those parenting books suggested. I was told to do yoga and strengthen my abs. I was practically instructed to worship at the altar of Kegels. I even heard that peeing when I sneeze is just part of motherhood and that I should simply accept it.
But at 37, I’m not quite ready to start stocking up on Poise pads like it’s a new hobby.
So, like any sensible person, I evaluated my body and my routine — and realized Kegels weren’t doing a thing for me. Tossing my embarrassment aside, I took to Facebook and asked my mom friends, “Can we be real for a sec? Do any of you pee yourselves too?” To my surprise, every single one had a cringe-worthy story about a time they leaked after a sneeze, cough, or laugh.
Encouraged by the fact that I’m not alone in this embarrassing struggle, I turned to Google to find solutions. That’s when I discovered the infamous Dr. Arnold Kegel, a gynecologist from the 1940s who suggested women lie on their backs and flex their vaginal muscles around his fingers. Yep, you read that right.
It turns out this nearly century-old advice is based on misconceptions about female anatomy. Plus, using vaginal weights (like Ben Wa balls) isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution for those of us dealing with “sneeze pee” (also known as stress urinary incontinence).
What has genuinely helped me and other women is actually much simpler: we need to focus on improving our posture when sitting and standing. When lying down, try pulling your navel towards your spine. A simple bridge pose can work wonders—lie on your back with your knees bent and arms at your sides. Push through your feet to lift your navel toward the ceiling. Repeat. It’s not just effective; it feels good and strengthens the abdominal muscles that support your lumbar region and urinary tract.
The outdated legacy of Dr. Kegel has led countless women to line their underwear with pads to avoid embarrassment after a sneeze. How absurd is that?! So, I stopped doing Kegels and encouraged my mom friends to do the same. We had a good laugh while looking up vaginal weights, and yes, we might’ve leaked a little in the process. Then, we searched for exercises that actually make a difference.
As mothers, we’re bombarded with terrible advice and judgment at every turn. We know no body fully recovers in six weeks. We’re aware that mom bodies are frequently shamed in the media. And we know that after countless Kegels, we still might pee a little when we laugh too hard. So why keep torturing ourselves?
If you’re looking for more information on home insemination, check out this insightful post on intracervical insemination — it’s a great resource. Also, Make a Mom provides excellent information for anyone interested in self insemination. For even more pregnancy-related insights, don’t miss CCRM’s blog.
In summary, it’s time to rethink the advice we’ve been given about pelvic health. Instead of relying solely on Kegels, focusing on posture and strengthening exercises can make a real difference. Let’s share our experiences and find better solutions together.