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I’m the Mom Who Can’t Seem to Get It Together
Every Tuesday at 11 a.m., my kids have ukulele lessons. Yes, every Tuesday. The lessons are just a stone’s throw away, at a friend’s house about one hundred yards from my front door. Yet, like clockwork, I get texts from her at 11 a.m. asking, “Are you still coming?” “It’s 11 a.m.!” “Is everything okay?” Nope, we’re definitely not making it this week. I understand it’s Tuesday. I know it’s 11 a.m.—I just didn’t manage to connect those dots for ukulele lessons. And clearly, we’re not okay, because I can’t even get my kids to a music lesson that’s practically in our backyard.
This is par for the course for me. We had a homeschool co-op that met Thursday mornings, and I would often forget about it. Sometimes I’d end up scheduling playdates instead. Then I’d find myself double-booked, trying to decide whether it was more vital for the kids to engage in free play or academic activities. Both are important, which just complicates matters.
I did manage to remember Swim and Gym at the YMCA on Monday afternoons, but only because my oldest son was obsessed with it and constantly reminded me. I’d be knee-deep in thoughts about schoolwork, cooking pasta for lunch, or making a quick Target run when he’d interrupt with, “Mama, we have Swim and Gym today!” He did the same thing when it was time for his buddy Max to come over. “It’s Max Day!” he’d exclaim upon waking, and my heart would sink. Of course, it was Max Day. I’m depending on a 6-year-old to keep track of our schedule.
As for doctor’s appointments? Forget it. I have to put them in my phone, or they simply slip my mind. I’d love to automate everything, but I can’t figure out how to do that without manually entering each event. I tried once, but it was a disaster. I either mess up the inputs, miss reminders, or get something else wrong. All the high-tech gadgets in the world won’t save me from my chaos.
It’s not just my memory that’s lacking; I’m also perpetually late. I’ve figured out that it takes roughly an hour per child to get ready, which means moms of eight must never sleep. So, I try to wake up three hours before any event. This usually leads to one of two scenarios:
- I get lost in the internet, sipping coffee while applying my makeup. The kids are dragging their feet about getting dressed, and I can’t even locate their clothes. Suddenly, I glance at the clock and realize we have twenty minutes to drive twenty minutes, but no one has brushed their teeth yet, and I haven’t made my essential Starbucks pit stop. Cue the inevitable half-hour late arrival.
- On other days, I wake up with the best intentions. I whip up breakfast, find clothes for the kids, and somehow manage not to mess up my makeup. The internet is quiet, and we brush our teeth with time to spare. But then, we take our sweet time letting the dogs out, putting on shoes, and buckling everyone into the car. Naturally, we still have to hit Starbucks. We drive slowly, but we arrive a half-hour early. If we’re visiting someone’s house, we cruise around aimlessly for thirty minutes; if it’s a public place, we try to keep ourselves entertained until the others arrive.
Being on time is simply not in our DNA.
And let’s not even talk about appearances. My kids often look like they just rolled out of bed, with hair resembling that of startled hedgehogs. Teeth? Usually unbrushed. The baby typically has shoes, thanks to his habit of tossing them in the car, but sometimes he shows up barefoot because I assumed he threw them out. I’m that mom—the one who forgets water bottles, snacks, and any essential items for our activities.
This leads people to think of me as a disorganized mess, fulfilling every cliché about moms who can’t get it together. It’s become a running joke; I’m either super early or perpetually late. While it may seem chaotic, my kids are fine—they’re resilient little beings who roll with the punches. I’m fortunate to have friends who are understanding. I wish I could be like those other moms who arrive at exactly 11 a.m., equipped with juice boxes and perfectly styled kids.
But for now, we’ll keep rolling in half an hour late or arriving a half hour early. And don’t expect perfect hairstyles. If that’s a deal-breaker for you, perhaps we aren’t meant to be friends. In a way, it’s a great filter for friendship. And honestly, I’m grateful for it.
For more tips on navigating motherhood, check out this post on home insemination. And if you’re looking for more resources on this topic, Make a Mom offers a great selection of tools and kits. For anyone considering pregnancy options, Johns Hopkins Fertility Center is an excellent resource.
Summary:
The author humorously shares her struggles with time management and organization as a busy mom, highlighting the chaos of juggling activities, forgetting appointments, and being perpetually late. Despite the chaos, she embraces her unique parenting style and the friendships that come with it, ultimately finding humor in her situation.