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Unlimited Screen Time for Introverted Families
Updated: June 11, 2020
Originally Published: August 1, 2016
I don’t set restrictions on screen time. There are no sticker charts for good habits, nor do I impose penalties for bad ones. I don’t create a checklist of required activities before screen use—like doing 10 push-ups, 25 minutes of exercise, 15 minutes of creative work, and 20 minutes of educational tasks. My son, now 7, enjoys his tablet when he wants and how he wants.
The primary reason I avoid limiting screen time is that it aligns with my personality and parenting style. I believe this is a valid consideration when developing our screen time approach (and any parenting decisions, for that matter). Everyone has unique needs and different parenting philosophies, so trying to fit into a one-size-fits-all model, like the guidelines from the American Academy of Pediatrics, is pointless.
As an introvert, I treasure my personal space and appreciate my son’s need for the same. The best way for us to spend time together at home is by pursuing our individual activities while occasionally checking in with one another. I find little joy in organizing his free time and constantly reminding him to follow arbitrary rules. As long as he excels at school, his leisure time is his own. If I were a different type of parent—perhaps an outgoing, adventurous extrovert or a lively, engaging teacher—things might be different, but that’s not me.
Another significant reason for my no-limit screen approach is that it suits my child’s personality. You might assume I have a kid who prefers off-screen activities, but the opposite is true. While he has other interests, gaming is undoubtedly his favorite way to unwind. He dives deeply into his games—one might even call it an obsession based on how animatedly he talks about them.
However, this intensity isn’t confined to gaming; he approaches everything with great focus. This is a child who will skip recess if he hasn’t finished a school assignment. For a while, I wrestled with the idea of setting limits on screen time to encourage him to explore other interests. Ultimately, I chose to let him be. Why impose arbitrary restrictions when his engagement with the game is clearly thoughtful? Just because something seems “uneducational” to me doesn’t mean it lacks value.
Instead of draining my energy on pointless limits, I now prioritize two screen-related goals:
- Becoming interested in his gaming world. I want to avoid the scenario where his gaming universe becomes a secret that Mom and Dad know nothing about.
- Monitoring my own screen habits, which aren’t perfect. By being honest about my own usage and striving to improve, I hope he’ll learn by example.
The last thing I want is for his tablet to become a forbidden object that he must “earn” through good behavior or limited time. I prefer it to be a mundane item he can use when he wishes, with no fuss attached.
Since removing time restrictions, he’s become much more relaxed about his screen usage. When limits were enforced, a tantrum was guaranteed if he couldn’t have his allotted screen time. Now, even if he doesn’t use it for a day, it doesn’t bother him.
I’ve noticed he transitions effortlessly between on-screen and off-screen activities. One moment he’s battling monsters on his tablet, and the next, he’s sketching his own creature and writing a story inspired by his game. I watch him build in Minecraft, then turn to the floor to play with his baby sister. The lines between screen-time and no-screen-time have blurred, creating a healthier balance for him.
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In summary, embracing a no-limit screen time policy has fostered a more relaxed environment for my son, encouraging creativity and balance in his activities.