As a parent, I’ve reached a startling realization: I’m practically irrelevant. Seriously. Somewhere along the way, my kids grew up, and suddenly, they don’t seem to need me as much anymore.
This epiphany hit me last week when my youngest finally got his driver’s license. Hooray! I thought while waiting in the DMV’s waiting area, which felt more like purgatory. No more trying to juggle my work, cleaning, errands, and dinner prep during those frantic hours between school drop-off and pick-up. And, best of all, no more late-night pickups from friends’ houses! I could finally slip into my pajamas before 10 p.m. without the anxiety of being pulled over while looking like a disheveled mess. My choice of loungewear—an old pair of shorts, a faded tee, and a Mickey Mouse sweatshirt I “borrowed” from my brother back in high school—wasn’t exactly a fashion statement. The last thing I needed was to be mistaken for a wandering vagrant.
But then, as my son drove off for the first time, it hit me: Wait! Wasn’t it my job to drive him everywhere and complain about it? Just like that, after 16 years of being his personal chauffeur, my services were rendered unnecessary. I had been unceremoniously dismissed. Wow.
In our household, we joke that I’m constantly trying to get fired from this mom gig. Whether it’s a mediocre dinner or forgetting to wash my kid’s favorite shirt, I often plead with my family to let me go. “I’m awful at this job,” I say. “Seriously, fire me! I’ll survive.” But honestly, I never meant it.
I once heard that the goal of parenting is to make yourself unnecessary—to equip your kids with the skills they need to thrive independently. We teach them everything from reading to using the bathroom solo, crossing streets, organizing their homework, and cooking something (anything!) for themselves. We do this not only to ensure they can flourish but also because, deep down, we crave a bit of freedom ourselves.
Be careful what you wish for.
It doesn’t matter if you’re a stay-at-home parent or a full-time worker; we all want to care for our kids, to nurture and support them. But when they no longer require our help, it’s a mixed bag of emotions—gratifying (Yay! Mission accomplished!) and bittersweet (Who will I read bedtime stories to now?).
Of course, I’m not lamenting the gross stuff that kids eventually handle on their own (I don’t miss diaper duty one bit). But I do miss the fulfilling moments, like driving them around. In that role, I felt a sense of security, knowing they were safer with me behind the wheel. Plus, those car rides often led to the best conversations, as kids tend to forget you’re there and spill their guts about things they’d never discuss face-to-face.
Sigh. Those times are fading away.
Now, I must come to terms with my new, downsized role. While I may no longer be their chauffeur, my job isn’t completely eliminated—my 20-year-old son just asked what’s for lunch as I write this! So, I guess I’m not entirely obsolete after all.
If you’re interested in more parenting insights, check out our other articles, like this one on intracervical insemination. Also, for everything related to home insemination, Make A Mom is a fantastic resource. And if you’re looking to explore pregnancy options, the NHS offers excellent guidance.
Summary
Parenting is a bittersweet journey of becoming less needed as children grow up. The transition from being a constant presence to a more supportive role can be challenging but rewarding. While the driving days might be over, there are still moments of connection and support that make the experience worthwhile.