The 6 Phases of Homework with Elementary Kids

Ah, the joys of homework with young ones. Back in my day, the most challenging task I faced was remembering to bring my Valentine’s cards to school on time. I vividly recall first grade being filled with show-and-tell sessions and mastering the art of coloring inside the lines. Can anyone else relate?

Our childhoods didn’t revolve around intense reading, writing, and the complexities of Common Core math before we could even tie our shoes. Homework, as we know it today—actual, tangible assignments with due dates—was practically non-existent. It’s a miracle we didn’t all grow up to be total slackers! Don’t get me wrong; I’m thrilled my kids are learning and genuinely excited about it. But the homework situation? Oh boy, it’s one of the least enjoyable evening rituals, especially when it comes to working with my 6-year-old. If you’re in the same boat, you might recognize these stages of the homework struggle.

Stage 1: Acknowledging the Homework

This phase starts off relatively calm. You casually ask your child if they have any homework, and they confidently respond with a “no.” Fast forward fifteen minutes and another inquiry, still no homework. After two more hours of asking, your child suddenly announces, “BUT MOM, I HAVE HOMEWORK!” You take a deep breath, channeling your inner zen, and calmly request that they fetch the homework before you spontaneously combust.

Stage 2: Finding the Homework

After sending your child to dig through their backpack, they return empty-handed, claiming it’s lost. You march upstairs, muttering about their lack of observational skills. Upon opening the backpack, you’re greeted by a chaotic mess that looks like a craft store exploded inside. You ask your child when they last cleaned it out, and they insist it was just yesterday. You have to wonder if all the trees are crying because of the sheer volume of papers.

Stage 3: Starting the Homework

You finally find the homework buried under a mountain of papers and head back downstairs. But lo and behold, your child is engrossed in some super important activity they couldn’t possibly have done two hours ago. After several reminders and maybe a threat or two, you finally sit down together, just in time for yet another distraction to occur.

Stage 4: Doing the Homework

Once the distractions have been quelled, you both dive into the homework instructions. The more you read, the more bewildered you become. Is your first-grader really supposed to do what the paper says? Instead of admitting defeat, you ask your child what they think needs to be done, praying you can figure out the meaning of “write a number bond followed by a number sentence” before your own educational shortcomings become glaringly obvious. Thirty minutes later, after a lot of noise and confusion, you contemplate contacting your local legislator with a very strategic suggestion about homework.

Stage 5: Finishing the Homework

After three temper tantrums (one of which you may have initiated), the homework that should have taken ten minutes somehow drags on for an hour and a half. Just when you think you’re about to bask in the glory of completion, your child remembers another assignment they “forgot” to mention. Internally, you scream about the universe being utterly unfair, but you trudge back to the table anyway, desperate to wrap this up before you throw in the towel.

Stage 6: Recovering from the Homework

At last, after a few more gray hairs and a minor existential crisis, the homework is complete and back in the backpack—this time for real. You tuck your child into bed and make a beeline for the wine. Forget the glass; you head straight for the bottle because you’ve earned every drop after that ordeal!

In conclusion, homework with elementary kids can be an exhausting journey, filled with unexpected twists and turns. Yet in the chaos, we find moments of laughter, learning, and perhaps a newfound appreciation for the bottle of wine waiting for us at the end of the night.