Here’s What Happens When Your Kids Grow Up

We found ourselves at the beach one balmy summer afternoon with my kids aged 2, 4, and 5. I was utterly pooped, but it was a joyful exhaustion. Bent over, clutching my youngest, I watched his adorable, pudgy body float in the water. He was having the time of his life, splashing us both with his little shovel. My back ached, and the heat was relentless, but I couldn’t take a dip; I knew I couldn’t leave them unattended for even a moment. Still, it felt good to be needed. Then, in a heartbeat, my bliss turned to anxiety. What will I do when they grow older? Who will I become? What does that even look like?

When my kids were younger, my days revolved around soothing scrapes, feeding them, ensuring they wore jackets in the chill, slathering on sunscreen, and tucking them into bed at night. Sure, I had my moments of utter exhaustion, but the thought of not being needed anymore was genuinely frightening.

I kept these feelings to myself until a friend, Sarah, opened up about her own fears. I realized I wasn’t alone. It wasn’t just about wishing my kids wouldn’t grow up too fast; I was genuinely concerned about how I would cope without being their primary source of support.

Fast forward seven years, and my kids have started to pull away, carving out their own identities separate from our once-tightly-knit family. So, what does it mean to be a mom to older kids?

What It Means to Be a Mom to Older Kids

It means running errands solo and getting in and out of the store in under ten minutes. It’s about enjoying a longer stroll down the wine aisle without worrying that someone will knock over a display. It’s having the freedom to go for a jog, walk, or bike ride while telling them to only contact you in case of emergencies (though they probably won’t listen).

It’s about taking a few extra minutes in the shower, doing your hair, or soaking in the tub—interrupted, yes, but the urgency isn’t as intense. It’s watching them wake up taller overnight, a gentle reminder to cherish every moment. It’s missing the cuddles, the adorable mispronunciations, and those chubby little hands.

You find yourself engaging in serious conversations about relationships, politics, and even the birds and the bees. It can be heavy. Letting go and adapting to this new phase of parenting is challenging, and sometimes it means crying over their baby books. It’s a blend of pride and frustration—often at the same time. You pray you’ve made the right choices and hope they’ll make good decisions, too. You see pieces of yourself in them, and it can lead to unexpected places—sometimes nostalgic, sometimes uncomfortable.

There’s the sweet satisfaction of being able to shut your bedroom door after instructing them to whip up dinner for themselves. You’ll find yourself driving them around a lot, spending a small fortune on food, clothes, and sports gear. All of this is part of the journey. It’s a beautiful chaos, and some days, you might long for the simplicity of having them small and safe in their cribs. There are moments when you’d prefer to be changing diapers rather than dropping them off at the movies. But this is what we signed up for—the ever-evolving stages of motherhood.

One key thing I’ve learned as my kids have grown is that just because they’ve gained independence doesn’t mean I’m no longer needed. Sure, I’m not there to keep their heads above water while they splash about, but my role has transformed in ways that are just as significant—if not more. And honestly, I love how it all looks.

Summary

As children grow older, the dynamics of motherhood shift. From intimate moments of care to navigating their newfound independence, it’s a blend of joy and melancholy. While it’s easy to long for the days when they were tiny, the evolving relationship offers new ways to connect and support them. Embrace the change; there’s beauty in this new chapter.

Here’s What Happens When Your Kids Grow Up

What It Means to Be a Mom to Older Kids

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Summary

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