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My Final Journey: 6 Reasons I’m Hesitant About Welcoming a Third Child
As I stride into the third trimester of what is likely my last pregnancy, I can’t help but feel a mix of bittersweet emotions. Perhaps it’s the knowledge that this little one will be my third and final child, or maybe it’s the surprise of her arrival that caught me off guard, leaving me unprepared for a flood of “lasts” ahead. Or, it could simply be the whirlwind of hormones swirling within me. Whatever the reason, I’m grappling with the thought of how to manage it all.
- More Love? Really?
Loving my first two children is an experience that transcends words. There are days when the weight of that love feels overwhelming, like I’m teetering on the brink of insanity. It fills every inch of my being, threatening to burst my bubble of reality. How can my heart possibly stretch to accommodate another child? - Energy Drain
Let’s get real—raising two kids is no walk in the park. Heck, even managing one child is a hefty challenge! Kids require an immense amount of energy and willpower, slowly draining your sleep and sanity. Sure, they also fill your heart in ways you can’t imagine, but there are days when I’d rather hibernate than tackle laundry or a day out. I keep pushing through because my girls need me. But three? I often joke that God only gave me two hands and two ears for a reason. How am I supposed to find the energy for one more? - Time Crunch
Assuming I could muster the energy, the time dilemma still looms large. Between dance classes, dentist visits, and the never-ending laundry, how can I possibly find time to truly connect with each child? I already struggle to carve out moments for self-care, whether it’s a workout, some writing, or dare I say, sleep. How will I manage to cherish each of my kids while juggling all the essential tasks of parenting? - The Risk Factor
Parenting is not just about the physical demands; it comes with an emotional risk that can be shattering. It breaks my heart to witness my oldest doubting her abilities after a fall, or when my toddler cries as I leave. Those are minor heartbreaks compared to the potential losses we face in life. Nothing is guaranteed, and letting myself love deeply means opening up to the possibility of profound loss. - The World Out There
This pregnancy has made it nearly impossible for me to watch the news. Social media feels like a minefield filled with heart-wrenching stories, especially involving children. How can I possibly send my little ones into a world that seems so fraught with pain? The thought is unbearable. - Letting Go
Here’s the harsh truth—whether we succeed in raising our kids to be independent, ultimately we have to let them go. It’s a bittersweet reality that’s both exhilarating and terrifying. I want to shield them from everything that frightens me, but that’s not realistic.
Yet, amid all this fear and uncertainty lies a love so profound that I could never have anticipated it. It’s a love that scares me but also empowers me. Even though life can be tough, and the world can seem daunting, we’ll always have each other. I may not be able to protect them from everything, but I can show them a love that makes every challenge worth facing.
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Summary
In this reflection, I share my concerns about welcoming a third child, weighing the emotional and logistical challenges of love, time, energy, and the risks involved. While the thought of expanding my family fills me with fear, it also brings a depth of love I never knew existed.