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Embracing Childhood at Their Own Pace
For the past few days, my son’s beloved blue blanket has been residing in the center console of my minivan, a spot it’s definitely not accustomed to. I use the term “blanket” quite liberally here—“well-loved rag with holes” might be more fitting.
For nearly a decade, this blanket has been a nightly fixture in my son’s life, a companion that has become almost part of our family. The lengths we’ve gone to for this blanket (which, yes, has its own proper name) could be deemed a little over the top. We’ve made 40-minute detours to retrieve a forgotten blanket and I’ve lost count of the times I’ve asked, “Do you have your blanket?” before heading out, only to check several more times just to be sure. I’ve spent hours looking for it in the most bizarre places—yes, even in the trash.
For almost ten years, this blanket has been my son’s trusty sidekick. Whether he’s tired, sad, or just needs to unwind, he finds comfort by rubbing a corner of it against his nose while sucking his thumb. He calls this snugging, a charming little ritual of self-soothing that he’s perfected.
There were moments when I questioned if he would ever outgrow this blanket or stop thumb-sucking. Just like I once wondered if he’d ever sleep through the night as a newborn, or if my three-year-old would ever master potty training. And I’ve also pondered if my kindergartener would learn to read. They say kids won’t go off to college still in diapers, with a blanket in tow and sucking their thumb, but I admit to having my doubts about the blanket and thumb-sucking.
Some might argue that my son is too old for a blanket or that we should have tackled the thumb-sucking a long time ago. To that, we say, back off.
A couple of years back, I took him to an orthodontist for a check-up. He’d lost a few teeth earlier than expected, and his dentist suggested we consult. I made it clear to the orthodontist that my son, then 8, was a thumb-sucker and that wasn’t about to change. I didn’t express any desire for it to change, nor did I voice my concerns.
“We’ll see what we can do about that,” the orthodontist replied.
As my son sat in the chair, the orthodontist began asking him questions about school, sports, and his thumb-sucking. “What would your friends say if they knew you sucked your thumb?” he asked, trying to shame my son.
“They wouldn’t say anything…because they’re my friends,” my son replied confidently.
Needless to say, we quickly found a new orthodontist—one who didn’t belittle my son but reassured me that he would stop sucking his thumb when he was ready. Until then, it was nothing to worry about.
So for a decade, my son has found comfort with his blanket and thumb-sucking. Is he on the older side for this behavior? Maybe. Could we have taken the blanket away, or tried some sort of farewell ceremony like many parents do with pacifiers? Certainly. We could have even put mittens on his hands at night and gently removed his thumb during the day.
But why? To what end? To make him rush into an adult world that often shames us for our quirks and habits? To hasten the end of his innocent, albeit “embarrassing” habits because of some arbitrary timeline for acceptable childhood behaviors?
Kids are not machines. They are unique individuals, full of thoughts and feelings, navigating life on their own schedules. Just like we once thought our newborn would never sleep through the night, our three-year-old wouldn’t be potty-trained, and our kindergartener would never read, they eventually do all these things—in their own sweet time.
One day, your almost ten-year-old will stop sucking his thumb (most of the time) and you’ll realize that his blanket has been left in the car for four days without a second thought. And trust me, your heart will ache just a little for the innocence of those childhood days.
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Summary
This piece reflects on the challenges and joys of allowing children to embrace their childhood comforts, like a treasured blanket or thumb-sucking, without pressure to conform to societal expectations. It emphasizes the importance of letting kids grow and develop at their own pace, celebrating their unique journeys through childhood.