“We Cry As Men”: Karate Instructor Shows Boys It’s Okay to Be Sensitive

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In a heartwarming viral video, a karate instructor reassures a young student that it’s perfectly fine to shed a tear. After struggling to break a block with his fist, the instructor, Marcus James, encourages him by saying, “It’s okay to cry.” This sentiment, though fundamentally true, isn’t as widely accepted as one might hope, which is why the video has captured so much attention.

What makes this clip particularly impactful is twofold: it showcases a man encouraging boys to embrace their sensitive side, and it features a Black man guiding Black boys in a positive and affirming manner. The video is part of an initiation test for a young boy named Leo at the Cave of Adullam Transformational Training Academy in Detroit, Michigan, where James teaches a unique blend of martial arts, spiritual teachings, and meditation—definitely not your typical dojo experience.

As Leo struggles with his block-breaking attempt, James tells him that there’s no shame in crying, emphasizing that “we cry as men.” His words resonate deeply, especially in a society that often equates masculinity with emotional suppression. “I don’t mind if you cry. I cry too,” he reassures Leo, providing the emotional support he desperately needs.

The academy’s mission goes beyond teaching martial arts. James explains, “As a Black man in this country, you need mental strength, and you have to be strong here,” pointing to his head, before adding, “More so than here,” while clenching his fist. He serves as a mentor during a time when positive male role models are sorely needed, particularly for inner-city youth.

As he guides Leo through his challenges, James encourages him, saying, “When you feel the pain, punch harder. That could be a barrier in life or anything. Punch harder.” He reminds the young boy that the test is designed to challenge him, stressing that displaying emotion is not a sign of weakness.

As a father of two boys myself, I find it crucial to nurture their sensitivity while balancing the societal expectations of male stoicism. Growing up, I loved “The Karate Kid,” but it also made me wary of martial arts due to its portrayal of a harsh instructor. If I had known someone like Marcus James, I might have reconsidered.

James’s message is refreshing compared to the traditional “no mercy” mentality often depicted in media. Now, as a dad, I understand the importance of processing emotions rather than suppressing them. Just as Leo gets a second chance at breaking the block and succeeds, it’s a reminder that with the right guidance and encouragement, expressing emotions can lead to strength.

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In summary, the video of Marcus James encouraging Leo during his karate test serves as a powerful reminder that it’s perfectly acceptable for boys to express their emotions. By breaking down the barriers of traditional masculinity, James fosters an environment where sensitivity is celebrated, equipping young boys with the emotional resilience they need.