5 Tips for Raising Kids Who Can Tackle Adulthood

Updated: Oct. 6, 2023

Originally Published: Aug. 8, 2016

Like every parent, I want my kids to grow into capable adults. However, they often don’t realize that chores and responsibilities are for their own benefit. Just the other day, I asked my son to help out, and he had the audacity to argue. I reminded him that I was the one who brought him into this world. His response? “I never asked to be born.” Raising kids to be competent adults is no easy feat, and I’m sure they’ll consider me the villain in these matters until they have their own kids someday.

1. Cooking Skills

I handle dinner for the family, but they pitch in. When they request a specific meal, I’m all in. My goal is to have them grow into adults who can navigate the kitchen. But breakfast, lunch, and snacks? That’s on them. Recently, my oldest texted me from his room, asking if I could whip him up some nachos while he was busy gaming. Let’s just say that was the last time anyone in this house will ask me for a snack unless they’re seriously ill or injured.

2. Chores Are Life Lessons

I assign plenty of chores because they’re the antidote to boredom, a sneaky way to teach responsibility, and a little payback for their sass. They might call it “Mom’s Servants Club,” but I couldn’t care less as long as the laundry is folded and the dog’s mess is cleaned up.

3. Gentle Reminders

If they smell a bit ripe, I’ll gently let them know, but only once. If they choose to waft around like a spoiled onion, so be it. As they grow, my reminders become less frequent. I don’t nag, leave notes, or play the role of their personal assistant. If my 12-year-old wants to leave the house without a coat in freezing temperatures, that’s his call. After all, how else will they learn to be responsible?

4. Empowering Them to Speak Up

When they struggle with schoolwork, I do my best to help, but I no longer reach out to their teachers on their behalf. I encourage them to ask for help themselves, and I’m there to support them. In public settings, if they have questions, they need to voice them. I’m not their translator or spokesperson.

5. Letting Them Fight Their Own Battles

It’s crucial for my kids to learn how to handle their own conflicts, as long as things don’t escalate to a harmful level. When everyday friend drama arises, I let them navigate it without my intervention. They need to understand what feels right and how to step away from situations that bring them down. I won’t call another parent to complain based on hearsay. I’m here for guidance, but they need to handle the daily drama themselves—after all, I get enough of that from my favorite soap operas!

Will my kids be ready to take on the world when they finally leave the nest? Who knows! But I’m definitely enjoying the free help while it lasts. They might roll their eyes at least ten times a day, but I’m convinced I’m on the right track in my quest to raise responsible adults.

For more insights on parenting and related topics, check out our post on home insemination kits, as well as resources on infertility. If you’re interested in further exploring home insemination options, Make A Mom offers comprehensive kits that can help.

Summary

Raising kids who can handle adulthood involves teaching them essential life skills like cooking, responsibility through chores, and the importance of self-advocacy. By empowering them to handle their own struggles and reminding them gently of their duties, parents can lay a strong foundation for their children’s future independence.