I want to give a shout-out to our younger selves for being ridiculously reckless by having a baby we weren’t financially ready for and weren’t emotionally equipped to raise, yet somehow managed to nurture into an incredible human being. In the grand scheme of the universe, maybe this is the one thing we were destined to get right.
Those two aimless wanderers — that’s us. How on earth did we take our broken pieces and create a whole? Mathematically, it’s a rule, but in parenting, all bets are off. You came from a chaotic, alcoholic household, and I was a high school dropout who placed my first child for adoption — how did we pull this off? How have we managed, over the past 15 years, to not drown our child in our own drama?
Did she arrive with some kind of magical force field protecting her from our family’s baggage and our questionable traits?
Maybe it’s all thanks to “Friends.” We watched a ton of that show growing up, and it gave us a lighthearted outlook on life: embrace the “good people” mantra, laugh at each other, don’t take parenting too seriously, and forget about bills — they’ll always be late anyway.
Honestly, I can’t wrap my head around why our kid isn’t more messed up. By today’s parenting standards, we’ve done everything wrong. I didn’t breastfeed, I’ve never intentionally purchased organic foods, we were just 21 when we had her, and we still don’t own a house. This week alone, she’s binged on countless hours of YouTube. We were financially struggling for more than half her life, we’re still not married after 15 years together, and she’s been on a structured sleep schedule since 6 months old. We didn’t wear her or co-sleep, and yes — horror of horrors — we used disposable diapers.
The only “issue” she has is that she hasn’t napped since she was 3 years old, and naps are a big deal in our family. That force field must be real.
Parenting today feels like a rigorous academic course — filled with high-stakes testing where you fill in the right answers on a bubble sheet, only to be graded by a computer. Then you’re left feeling empty and exhausted, hoping it leads to something resembling the American Dream. Total nonsense.
If I could channel Marty McFly and travel back in time, I’d tell my younger self a few things: Chill out, it’s all going to be fine. You’ll get through everything life throws at you — unemployment, moving, depression, power outages, the kale trend, and everyone else’s opinions. Listen more to your daughter; keep doing the rest the same. And hey, appreciate that fabulous body while you can.
Then I’d meet up with Doc Brown, return to the present, and carry on.
There’s no ideal age to start a family, no magic income, no perfect situation, no idyllic community, and definitely no delicious gluten-free treats. It’s all about bringing your best self to the table. That starts with being honest with your kid. Like, “Hey kiddo, you didn’t win the lottery with these two goofballs, but we love you, and that’s got to be enough.” We might not always afford what you want, show up at every moment, or own a car with four working windows, but we’ll make you laugh, share our fantastic tastes, and always fight for you.
And then you have to keep it up.
You need to embrace failure as much as success and be there cheering for your kids. “Worst Things” happen to every family, but you can turn it into either a tragedy or a comedy. Sometimes, you’ve got to be a hot mess before you can rise up and not care what anyone thinks. Humility comes before stepping up.
In that sense, two broken halves can indeed create a whole. We’ve had a blast together, and just like Ferris Bueller, I sometimes stop, take stock, and realize we’ve done nearly everything wrong, but somehow it all flew by so fast that now it feels right.
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Summary:
This article humorously explores the journey of parenting despite life’s chaos and challenges. It reflects on the unconventional ways of raising a child while emphasizing the importance of love, honesty, and humor in overcoming obstacles.