7 Characters You Encounter in Spin Class

Entering the world of fitness later in life can be quite the adventure. And by “later,” I mean after two kids, two C-sections, and hitting the big 3-0. Let’s be real; when these milestones hit, your thighs start to look different than they did in your carefree teens and twenties. As I approached thirty, I realized that if I wanted to avoid wearing a circus tent to school drop-offs, I had to take action.

So, I said goodbye to the ice cream, got off the couch, and began my journey into running. My first run was anything but graceful, but I’ve since completed six marathons, fourteen half-marathons, and six triathlons. Now, I’m pretty sure I could outrun a clown with a knife!

While running has become my jam, biking isn’t quite my thing. The lack of safe roads, a few nasty bike spills, and the terrifying speed of passing cars have made cycling less appealing. And don’t even get me started on those clipless shoes—they’re like tools of the devil. Just ask my friend about the time my feet were stuck in the pedals, and I was screaming in the middle of an intersection. I am definitely not Lance Armstrong.

This leads me to spin class—a magical realm where people hop on stationary bikes to pedal through imaginary landscapes for 45 minutes to an hour. With loud music blasting and an instructor motivating you to “climb hills” and “attack,” you sweat buckets and curse under your breath while going absolutely nowhere. Yet, somehow, you keep coming back.

I adore spin class mainly because there’s zero chance of falling off the bike, and I get to feel like a badass without a helmet. Over time, I’ve noticed distinct personalities that frequent spin classes. While Mitch Albom introduced us to the Five People You Meet in Heaven, here’s my take on The Seven People You Meet in Spin Class:

1. The Newbie

This rider stands out like a sore thumb. Clueless about bike adjustments and terminology, she’s usually looking around, hoping someone will help her figure out her seat height. The Newbie is cute for a few classes, but soon enough, the Instructor Enthusiast will pounce on her.

2. The Instructor Enthusiast

This gal is all business when it comes to spin. She knows the routines better than the instructor and remembers the playlists from months ago. More than happy to share her expertise, she’ll gladly point out what you’re doing wrong while you’re just trying to catch your breath. She and The Lifer are often inseparable buddies.

3. The Lifer

Every spin class has one—a biker who firmly claims her spot. The Lifer owns Bike 17 and will fiercely defend her territory. Other participants part ways for her like Moses parting the Red Sea. She knows every detail about Bike 17 and has no interest in riding anywhere else. The Newbie definitely feels intimidated by her presence.

4. The Class Clowns

These jokers can’t take the class too seriously. Found in the back, they snicker and joke, often discussing dinner plans. They’re laid-back about spin, while the Instructor Enthusiast and The Lance Armstrong Wannabe might think they’re slacking. But honestly, everyone wishes they could join in on their laughter—because spin class is tough!

5. The January Resolutionist

You’ll spot her in January, showing up for two classes before disappearing until next year.

6. The Lance Armstrong Wanna-be

All seriousness, this biker has the high-end gear and a Tour de France wicking shirt. He’s raced every local bike event and wants you to know it. Just try to keep up during warm-ups—his easy pace will leave you gasping for air. Don’t even ask him about his bike collection unless you have a few hours to spare. His biggest rival? The Octogenarian.

7. The Octogenarian

She’s 80 if she’s a day, and don’t let her frail appearance fool you. With a flat road setting of 22 and RPMs at 120, this sweet grandma can outpace you in a heartbeat. You’ll be gasping for air while she’s kicking your butt!

I’m sure it’s no surprise that I fall into the Class Clown category during spin. After all, when you’re pedaling furiously behind The Lance Armstrong Wannabe, laughter is the best way to survive!

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Summary

In spin class, you’ll meet a colorful cast of characters, from the clueless newbie to the fiercely competitive Lifer, the jovial Class Clowns, and the determined Lance Armstrong wannabes. Each personality adds to the unique atmosphere of spin classes, making it a fun and invigorating experience.