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Let Them Stumble, Mama
Failure. Just the sound of it makes me cringe. As someone who has battled perfectionism, I’ve never exactly rolled out the welcome mat for failure. I can still vividly recall the time in third grade when I dramatically pretended to run away from home after receiving a C on a test. It wasn’t that my parents pressured me; rather, my own internal dread of failing made me feel like an unlovable burden. So, off I would go, leaving my poor family behind to avoid the shame of being less than perfect. A bit over the top? Definitely.
For years, I would work myself into a frenzy before any event with even the slightest chance of failure. Tests, races, interviews—you name it, I was nauseous for days in advance. It was a draining way to live, especially since failure was inevitable. After failing, I would berate myself and deliberately shy away from anything that felt too challenging. My fear of failure cost me a lot, nudging me into a decent career that didn’t spark joy. I’m sure many of you can relate.
Then, I had kids. Diving into parenting opened my eyes to a whole new realm of challenges. I began reading books and exploring parenting blogs, embarking on the roller-coaster ride of raising children. And guess what? A key ingredient in nurturing successful humans is failure. Surprising, right?
The truth is, we can’t shield our kids from every scrape, social hiccup, or poor choice they might make as they grow up. As much as we want to swoop in and save the day, we have to allow them to stumble and learn from their mistakes—time and time again. That’s how they develop the skills to make better choices and gain a sense of self that isn’t just an echo of our expectations.
A Lesson from a Successful Entrepreneur
Take, for instance, the story of a successful entrepreneur named Lisa. She built a billion-dollar empire through her innovative products. Lisa’s father made it a point to celebrate her failures at the dinner table, viewing them as stepping stones rather than setbacks. If she didn’t have a failure to share each week, her dad would encourage her to take more risks. This mindset helped her thrive in business.
While I wish I could say I’ve mastered the art of not caring about failure, I doubt that’s even realistic. I still prefer to excel in whatever I do, and I’ve learned to combat that nagging inner critic when I trip up. I now make it a habit to sit down with my kids, discussing their highs, lows, and yes, failures. We analyze their decisions and what they might do differently next time. I even share my own triumphs and setbacks. Sometimes, my children will tease me to stop dissecting our daily failures, promising they’ll fail again tomorrow.
So, for the sake of your children, let them experience both good and bad choices, and allow them to face the consequences on their own. Fear of failure shouldn’t haunt them. One day, when they’re self-made billionaires, they’ll thank you for letting them learn the hard way.
Additional Resources
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In summary, encouraging your children to face failure is crucial to their growth. Allow them to learn from their mistakes and embrace their journey towards becoming confident, self-sufficient individuals.