What to Avoid Saying to Parents of LGBTQ+ Teens

My son, Alex, was just 13 when he came out to our family and the world around him. While I had my suspicions, it was still a defining moment for both of us. We’ve had some eye-opening conversations about the unique challenges that LGBTQ+ individuals face in society. Together, we’ve attended pride parades, and I could see the joy on Alex’s face when marriage equality became a reality.

As an openly supportive parent of a gay teen, I’ve encountered my fair share of head-scratching comments from well-meaning folks who haven’t walked this path. Whether you’re a parent of a LGBTQ+ youth yourself, suspect you might be, or are simply a friend or family member, here are some common questions you might want to reconsider.

“How could they possibly know they’re gay at such a young age?”

This is a question I find particularly frustrating. Think back to your first crush; chances are you were under 12. No one questioned your feelings for the opposite gender because it was deemed “normal.” It’s essential to recognize that love knows no age. Instead of asking kids, “Do you have a girlfriend?” try “Do you have a crush?” It opens the door to more inclusive conversations.

“Are you sure it’s just a phase?”

Why does it matter? Regardless of who your child chooses to love, the priority should be on supporting their emotional well-being. Let’s celebrate their experiences rather than box them into categories. After all, our goal should be to raise children who feel free to love without fear of judgment.

“Aren’t you worried they’ll get STDs?”

Honestly, we should be concerned about our kids’ health regardless of their orientation. It’s crucial to educate all children about safe sex practices, regardless of whether they are gay, straight, or somewhere in between. Consider having a supply of condoms at home so they can take charge of their own safety and well-being.

“At least you don’t have to worry about unexpected grandbabies!”

While that may be a small upside, it’s hardly the main concern. The reality is that your child may face discrimination simply for loving who they choose. Their emotional and physical safety is of utmost importance and should be the focus, not the potential for unplanned pregnancies.

“Do you think they’ll have a ‘normal’ life someday?”

Let’s get real: “normal” is evolving. As society shifts, our kids’ lives will likely look different from what we envisioned. Marriage rates are declining across the board, and many young adults—regardless of orientation—are redefining what a fulfilling life means. My hope for Alex and his siblings is that they pursue work that inspires them and love that fulfills them, without the confines of outdated norms.

In the end, all we want as parents is for our children to be happy, compassionate, and open-minded.

For more on navigating the journey of parenthood and LGBTQ+ issues, check out this insightful article from Home Insemination Kit. If you’re looking for reliable information on pregnancy, visit WomensHealth.gov. And if you’re interested in home insemination options, Cryobaby offers excellent resources.

In summary, being supportive of LGBTQ+ teens means steering clear of outdated assumptions and focusing on love, acceptance, and education.