20 Things I Do for My Kids That I’d Never Dream of Doing for My Partner

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I often proclaim, “I’d do anything for my partner.” However, with three little ones in tow, I’ve come to realize that this declaration doesn’t quite hold water anymore. Parenthood has a way of pushing us into situations where we find ourselves performing tasks for our children that we would never consider doing for anyone else, including our significant others.

For instance, I would never:

1. Get my face close to my partner’s behind to check for, well, a dirty diaper.
2. Let her use the bathroom while I soak in the tub.
3. Permit her to stand on my head during movie night.
4. Fish her poop out of a bathtub.
5. Tug at her pants to inspect her wiping skills.
6. Pay for her face to be painted at the farmer’s market and then comfort her when she’s upset about how it turned out.
7. Allow her to bury her face in my chest just to wipe her nose on my shirt.
8. Wipe her bottom.
9. Remind her to go to the restroom multiple times a day so she doesn’t forget.
10. Make her mac and cheese after she “accidentally” dropped the dinner I prepared.
11. Let her sit on my lap while I’m using the toilet.
12. Allow her to ride on my shoulders because her little legs are tired.
13. Console her after she throws my phone into the toilet.
14. Apply rash cream to her privates.
15. Wrestle her into shoes while she’s kicking and screaming, only to accept that she’ll kick them off immediately after.
16. Collect her chewed gum while driving on the freeway.
17. Share a toddler bed with her.
18. Apologize for her pants-less escapade at the grocery store.
19. Tolerate that incessant Caillou show.
20. Not judge her for eating her own boogers.

Going through this list makes me wonder if my love for my kids surpasses that for my partner. Or maybe it’s just that I hold her to a different standard. After all, one day, one of us could be on diaper duty for the other—who knows? Parenthood certainly demands a great deal of patience, love, and an endless supply of wet wipes.

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In summary, the wild things we do for our children often far exceed what we would ever consider for our partners. Parenthood is a journey filled with unique challenges and endless love.