Embracing My IDGAF 40s While Still Caring Deeply

I find myself slightly overwhelmed by the narrative surrounding women in their 40s who supposedly don’t give a hoot about anything. Let me clarify: I proudly consider myself part of this group that has tossed aside the insecurities of our younger years. We 40-somethings have a solid grasp on our identities, what drives us, and the things that truly annoy us. We stand firm in our parenting decisions and feel ready for anything life throws our way.

We’re unbothered by the judgments regarding our beloved yoga pants or snug jeans, our sporadic presence at school events, or our makeup choices. We’ve learned to bid farewell to toxic relationships that once stressed us out and embrace our post-baby bodies—be it with sagging bellies or toned abs, crow’s feet or smooth foreheads.

Wonderful! But what comes next?

Shedding the unnecessary baggage is liberating. For me, it has opened up a lot of time and mental space to focus on what truly matters. With that in mind, here’s where I’m dedicating my precious energy moving forward.

Making a Positive Impact

I know this sounds cliché, but it’s absolutely true. In my younger years, I nurtured lofty dreams for the world. I volunteered with the homeless and raised money for various causes, optimistic that the powers that be would tackle global issues effectively.

Then I became a parent—three daughters, to be exact. Issues like education, healthcare, women’s rights, and gender equality became intensely personal. As my girls grow and prepare to step into their own futures, I feel a heightened responsibility to advocate for a better world. I’m more determined than ever to combat gun violence, sexual assault, and racism. Since I truly don’t care about the vitriolic opinions of those who disagree with me, I intend to be vocal and unashamed in my beliefs.

Caring for My Body

For years, I focused on scrutinizing and lamenting my physical appearance. Many of us do that in our 20s and 30s. In my 40s, I’ve shifted my perspective—prioritizing how my body functions over how it looks. Healthy has become the new skinny, and strength has outshone a size 2. Looking after my body is crucial for enjoying the second half of my life, so I prioritize sleep, exercise, and a nutritious diet. That said, I still enjoy my cocktails and chocolate because I’ve learned how to maintain balance. Plus, I genuinely don’t care if I gain a pound or two.

Nurturing Meaningful Relationships

I’m continuously working on recognizing which relationships aren’t serving me and letting them go. If that means I end up with fewer friends but deeper connections, so be it. I’m particularly focused on strengthening the bonds that matter—especially as my eldest daughter heads off to high school. I want to truly know her and vice versa.

In a few years, my other two daughters will follow suit, leading to a new chapter with just my husband and me. So, marriage—like everything else—is a work in progress, and I’m committed to nurturing it for the future. The same goes for my parents, sister, and close friends.

Putting Myself First

As my children grow more independent, I’m finding the space to focus on my own needs and desires. I’m reevaluating commitments that no longer fulfill me and prioritizing how I want to spend my time. It’s a pivotal moment for making choices just for me—like considering a full-time job or diving deeper into my passion for surfing. I’m taking stock of my life, determining what I want to pursue, and ensuring it aligns with my personal happiness.

Embracing My True Self

For years, I’ve hidden certain parts of myself, thinking they weren’t acceptable or feeling shame around them. What a waste! Everyone is flawed, makes mistakes, and harbors fears and strengths. I’m anxious, passionately opinionated, need my space, and can’t leave home without making my bed. In my 40s, I’m embracing these quirks and sharing them with the people I care about. It turns out they appreciate me just as I am. Clearly, I’m thriving in my relationships (as mentioned earlier).

Realizing that I genuinely don’t care about certain people and situations has been one of the most empowering experiences of my 40s. Choosing what truly matters to me and turning it into reality is exhilarating.

So, what will you do with your remaining energy?

This article originally published on August 14, 2016. For more insights, check out this other blog post on home insemination.

Summary

In her 40s, Casey Thompson reflects on shedding insecurities and embracing what truly matters. She focuses on making a positive impact in the world, prioritizing her health, nurturing meaningful relationships, and accepting herself. With newfound confidence, she learns to care less about others’ opinions while actively deciding what she values in life.