Those without kids often have a skewed perception of parenting. They picture bedtime stories, cozy moments on the couch, diaper changes, and homework help—simple scenes that reflect some aspects of our daily lives. However, the reality of parenting encompasses so much more. Sure, we engage in those familiar activities, but we also have our unspoken rituals that shape the essence of our days and our children’s childhoods. These secret practices are understood by all but seldom discussed.
We tirelessly search for crayons and a coloring book, only to watch our little ones scribble for five minutes before tossing their masterpiece aside. Then comes the inevitable request for us to admire the chaotic art that’s somehow managed to cover Elmo’s head. We secretly wish they would just try to stay within the lines.
“Time to brush your teeth!” we call out, only to be met with silence. After repeating ourselves and waiting, we eventually have to gather each child, carrying them to the bathroom. We carefully dispense their favorite toothpaste onto their special toothbrushes, making sure we remember which is which. As they brush, they demand, “Am I done yet?” and we reply, “Not yet,” until they finally finish. Then we’re left to clean the mess they made around the sink.
When we spot twisted car seat straps, we curse under our breath and spend precious minutes straightening them out before securing our little ones safely in the car. Cleaning up accidents is just part of our day—whether it’s poop on their backs or pee on the living room rug, we tackle it all, often while getting splashed in the process.
We find ourselves on a quest for a sharp pair of scissors, which are notoriously elusive, as we prepare to cut out the netting from our sons’ swim trunks. With the right tools, we carefully remove the mesh, tossing it away, and we contemplate whether to buy Rice Krispies for breakfast, knowing we’ll face the daunting task of scraping hardened cereal remnants off bowls later.
Shoes seem to vanish into thin air, often leaving us scrambling to find them. We’ve established a strict policy: glitter or no glitter. Those who opt for glitter quickly learn it’s like craft herpes—impossible to eliminate and always popping up at the worst times, while those against it enjoy a somewhat cleaner household (until a glitter-loving friend visits).
Play-Doh presents a similar dilemma: we either accept that it will end up mashed into our carpets or avoid it altogether. We’ve read certain books so often that we know them by heart, and during a screaming car ride, we’ve found ourselves reciting those stories verbatim—both proud and slightly horrified.
Waking up to find a child staring at us in the dark, or hearing, “I have to pee!” from the depths of the night can be startling. We’ve dealt with bedwetting incidents and, at times, simply thrown a towel over the mess and returned to sleep.
We often repeat, “Don’t jump on the couch,” until we’re blue in the face. Meanwhile, stuffed animals seem to multiply, no matter how hard we try to limit their numbers. Toys we never wanted become our children’s favorites, especially those infuriatingly loud ones that seem to have no volume control.
Laundry is an endless cycle—seriously, it never stops! Mornings with our kids rarely allow us to finish a cup of coffee before it goes cold, and we’ve tried microwaving it, but it’s just not the same. When we tell them to get dressed, they either emerge in pajamas or not at all. Dragging them to their clothes often requires a threat of toy confiscation.
Sometimes, we discover the hard way that our child is sans underwear when we’re out in public.
While non-parents may have preconceived notions about parenting, they miss the true essence of the experience—the small moments, the challenges, and the unique milestones we encounter when we welcome a child into our lives. Yes, we love our kids deeply, but love doesn’t always translate to liking them every moment of every day. Occasionally, we dream of a life without them, but for the most part, we cherish the chaos they bring.
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Summary
Parenting is a mix of familiar routines and hidden challenges. From the chaos of bedtime stories to the endless laundry, the little moments shape our experiences. While non-parents may have some insight, they often miss the true rituals and joys of raising children. Ultimately, love and chaos coexist in the journey of parenthood.