A Mother’s Guide to Relatives: The Do’s and Don’ts

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Dear Family,

First off, we adore you! Your presence is cherished in our lives and especially in the lives of our children. We truly want you around, visiting and forming bonds with our little ones. However, it’s essential to establish some guidelines for our interactions. These aren’t meant to be burdensome or accusatory. Instead, think of them as tools for nurturing our relationships and ensuring our time together is enjoyable.

We’re not upset; we’re simply seeking your cooperation.

DO NOT insist that our kids hug you, or make them feel guilty if they don’t.

To you, a hug might seem like a polite gesture, but our children may not feel that connection, especially if they don’t see you often. We teach them that they have the right not to hug anyone if they don’t want to, even family. This is about respecting their bodily autonomy and is crucial for preventing future issues. A cheerful high-five or a simple “hello” can be just as meaningful.

DO keep the holiday gifts in check.

We appreciate your generosity, but experiences often resonate more than material items. Consider gifting an annual pass to the zoo or a local children’s museum, which the whole family can enjoy together. Building toys and books are fantastic too! Just please avoid overwhelming us with too many plastic toys that beep — our house is already a clutter zone!

DO take one child out at a time.

A simple trip to the ice cream shop or the park can create lasting memories. One-on-one time strengthens your bond and makes the siblings green with envy!

DO engage with them beyond the typical “How’s school?”

Show genuine interest in their passions. Even a 3-year-old has hobbies, whether it’s a love for Doc McStuffins or Legos. Dive into their world — play with their toys or watch a show together. Your involvement will have a lasting impact on their lives.

DO NOT undermine our parenting in front of them.

If we say it’s bedtime, please don’t suggest otherwise. This confuses the kids and undermines both our authority. If you feel differently, ask us privately — we might agree, but it’s better to have that discussion out of their sight.

DO support our parenting choices.

If we ask a child to stop misbehaving, feel free to reinforce that message. Kids don’t want to misbehave in front of others, and your support can help correct their behavior. However, please wait to address discipline until we’re out of the room.

DO discipline in a way that aligns with our methods when we’re not around.

If you know we prefer to use conversation rather than physical punishment, follow suit. Avoid methods we disapprove of, as it could lead to a rift in our trust.

DO remember they’re kids!

If we’re waiting for a table and they start to get restless, it’s normal. Expect the unexpected — from tantrums to unexpected messes, it’s all part of childhood! They’re not little demons; they’re just being kids.

By sticking to these guidelines, we can foster a positive and loving relationship among parents, kids, and relatives alike. Again, we cherish you and look forward to making wonderful memories together. Let’s work together to keep the love flowing!

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Summary

This article outlines essential guidelines for relatives to strengthen their relationships with children and parents. It emphasizes respecting children’s autonomy, the importance of experiences over material gifts, and maintaining a unified front in parenting practices. By following these simple do’s and don’ts, families can create a warm and harmonious atmosphere that fosters love and connection.