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They Might Be Pampered, But My Kids Aren’t Rude
by Lisa Hartman
Updated: Aug. 18, 2023
Originally Published: Aug. 18, 2023
I may not be the strictest parent on the block, but my children often disagree. We have our rules, and while I generally stick to them, I’m also open to hearing their perspectives. If they make a solid case, I might just make an exception.
For instance, if my 9-year-old claims he’s too worn out to pick up his clothes, I’ll swoop in and do it for him—provided he asks sweetly. And let’s be honest, when my little one flashes his adorable grin after a fresh haircut and compliments my outfit, it’s hard to resist handing over a lollipop, even if it’s not “dessert time.” Spoiling? Maybe.
They do get their fair share of toys, games, and the occasional ice cream treat, even if our budget isn’t exactly overflowing. At the end of the day, they’re my priority, as they should be during their childhood.
But here’s the kicker—they’re still kids. They occasionally throw tantrums over the tiniest things, and that’s just part of the growing pains. Their impulse control isn’t fully developed yet, so I strive to be patient. Yes, I need to establish boundaries, but I also try to empathize with their feelings. Finding that balance is definitely a challenge.
Plus, have you seen how cute they are? When my 3-year-old asks me to cuddle with him for his nap, I can’t help but oblige. And if my 9-year-old has a bad dream? He can crash in my room for a night—or a week, if it makes him feel safe. Why not?
Am I a softy? Sure. But one thing I will not compromise on is teaching my kids to be kind. It goes beyond just saying “please” and “thank you”; it’s about instilling a sense of respect and compassion.
So, how do I shape my kids into kind individuals? First off, feelings are a big deal in our household. We discuss them all the time—my kids might roll their eyes at me, but it’s important. When they misbehave—whether it’s ignoring my requests, bickering, or turning their noses up at a meal they asked for—I want to understand what’s behind their actions.
Sure, discipline is necessary when things spiral out of control, but we don’t punish them for simply feeling upset. Once they settle down, they usually can articulate what’s bothering them.
By respecting their emotions, I’m teaching them empathy and kindness. And as they learn to listen—to me, their teachers, and their friends—they mirror how I treat them. If that makes me appear indulgent, so be it.
What matters most to me is that my children feel loved and secure. I truly believe that showering them with unconditional love will nurture a wellspring of compassion they can share with others.
I’m not perfect, and I’m just navigating this parenting journey like everyone else. But whatever I’m doing, even if it leans towards overindulgence, seems to be working. My kids are thoughtful, kind friends and diligent students. Someday, they’ll grow up to be men who prioritize kindness and respect above all.
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Summary: This article discusses the author’s parenting style, emphasizing the importance of kindness and emotional awareness while acknowledging the balance of spoiling and discipline. The author remains committed to fostering empathy in her children, believing that unconditional love will help them grow into respectful individuals.