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12 Time-Tested Parenting Techniques I Use with My Kids
As I transitioned from childhood to parenthood, I let go of many traditional parenting methods, adapting my style to fit my family dynamics. For instance, there isn’t a single head of the household here, mainly because we’re both too tired and don’t want extra responsibilities. Decision-making is a team effort, and while everyone pitches in, the baby and the cats are exempt from chores—because, well, they’re just babies and lazy cats.
Nonetheless, the clash of past and present parenting styles happens frequently. As much as we think we know what’s best, we can’t always direct our kids. As they grow older, part of their learning process is experiencing failures. If we’re always there to catch them, how will they learn to stand up on their own? (The baby is an exception—he gets picked up every time.)
Despite the differences between our upbringing and our children’s, we’ve held onto some old-school parenting techniques, such as:
- I Don’t Play with My Kids
Just like my parents, who were busy working, I expect my kids to entertain themselves. I do get involved for crafts or games when I can, but part of the reason we had more than one child was to keep them all occupied. - We Don’t Shield Mistakes
Making choices is a part of life. If I present them with 10 ice cream flavors, they must pick one and stick with it. If they choose poorly, they don’t get a replacement cone. This encourages them to understand the consequences of their decisions. - Chores Are a Must
Our children help out with age-appropriate tasks like tidying up toys or feeding the cats. This isn’t about earning an allowance; it’s about teaching them responsibility. If they want to enjoy screen time or new toys, they must contribute. - We’re Not Their Friends
We’re their parents, here to guide them through life. While we do have fun together, our role remains that of authority figures, not friends. We’ll revisit the friendship card when they hit 18—if they’re not still living at home, of course. - No Quitting
Once they start something, they have to finish it. Whether it’s a sport or a snack they requested, commitment is key. - Own Your Actions
When they make mistakes, they need to admit it and apologize. I also model this behavior by owning up to my own errors and discussing how I can improve. - Follow Through Consistently
If I say there are consequences for fighting, I have to enforce them. Kids need to understand that actions have repercussions, just like in the real world. - Encourage Independence
I love their little moments of dependence, but they also need to learn how to manage on their own. I assist when necessary, but I encourage them to dress themselves and take initiative. - I Don’t Mediate Arguments
Teaching them conflict resolution is crucial. I won’t always be there to mediate, so they need to learn how to handle disputes on their own. I’ll intervene only for serious matters. - Respect for Others
We respect everyone, no matter how different they might be from us. Acceptance opens doors to meaningful relationships and opportunities. - Family Time is Sacred
We prioritize family dinners and monthly outings. These moments allow us to connect and create lasting memories, even if they might seem uncool when they hit their teenage years. - Hard Work Matters
While it’s tempting to give them everything they want, it’s essential they learn the value of hard work. Real satisfaction comes from earning what you desire, rather than just being handed things.
In the end, it’s about preparing our children to navigate the world. Whether you lean toward traditional or modern parenting styles, what matters is your effort. Life comes with rules, and ultimately, we all must contribute—except for the cats, of course, because they’re lazy.
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