Let’s get real for a second: there was a time when I completely overlooked the value of my friendships. Back in the day, my friends were just… there. We played sports, shared college lectures, and gossiped about crushes. We spent every free moment together, witnessing each other’s romantic highs and lows, making questionable choices, and navigating the chaos of pursuing our dreams. We were inseparable.
Fast forward to today: I’m juggling a husband, kids, a job, and a newfound passion for laundry folding (seriously, it’s a relationship of its own). To keep my friendships alive amid this whirlwind, I’ve had to become a master planner, coordinating schedules that are always packed. I’ve even pretended to exercise in the mornings just to squeeze in some quality time with friends. We jog at a snail’s pace, reminiscing about our early days, but now the conversations revolve around our little boys and the daily struggle of getting them to use the toilet without a mess.
Friendships have grown more complex in this stage of life. It’s not just about cocktails and late-night study sessions anymore—though there’s still a sprinkle of that. Now, we face heavier issues: aging parents, the impending teenage years, and the daunting reality of cooking dinner every.single.night.
While my friends are still my go-to support system and my faith in humanity, I often feel like I’m falling short as a friend because my time is perpetually consumed by things that need immediate attention (ahem, wiping).
Let’s face it, we all stumble in our friendships sometimes because:
- We miss calls when our friends need us because we’re knee-deep in parenting chaos.
- We don’t always offer the best advice when they come seeking guidance.
- Sometimes we can’t stop talking when we should just listen—we’re just so eager to engage in adult conversation.
- We forget birthdays and milestones.
- We get so wrapped up in our own lives that we overlook significant events in our friends’ lives.
- We sulk when we’re not included in gatherings we may not have attended anyway.
- We hold onto grudges that are utterly trivial.
- We create unnecessary drama in our heads.
- Sometimes, we drift apart or even lose friends because we weren’t there when they needed us.
But let’s not forget how we do shine as friends:
- We listen deeply—often more than our partners do.
- We keep secrets like pros.
- We discuss the important stuff—kids, family, and the occasional Spanx dilemma.
- We laugh, sometimes to the point where we nearly snort our drinks out.
- We uplift each other, leaving every conversation feeling better about ourselves.
- We turn to each other when Google fails us, finding comfort in shared experiences.
- We carve out time for each other, even when it feels impossible.
- And we forgive because love shines through the chaos of life.
One day, we’ll all be 80, sipping whiskey and laughing about our pasts, still chatting about boys (probably our grandsons), toasting to the fact that we did our best.
For more candid insights, check out what our real-life moms, Lisa and Talia, share in their latest episode of our Home Insemination Kit podcast.
And if you’re interested in more on navigating this journey of parenthood and friendship, make sure to visit this helpful resource.
In summary, while the struggle to maintain friendships can feel overwhelming, it’s essential to recognize both our shortcomings and our strengths. Embrace the messiness of life and the beauty of true friendship.