I have a plethora of names to choose from — my first name, middle name, last name, and a handful of nicknames that I respond to. I can even respond to “Ma’am,” “Miss,” or even “Hey You.” But here’s the deal: unless you belong to my inner circle of children, please steer clear of calling me “Mom.”
Long before I became a parent, I was adamant that I didn’t want anyone, including my husband, referring to me as “Mom.” In fact, the first time a nurse casually labeled me as “Mom” rather than checking my chart for my actual name, I cringed. I mean, really, how hard is it to look? It’s also a little awkward when strangers chime in with, “Is mommy having a party tonight?” while I’m just trying to navigate the wine aisle. And let’s just say, I prefer my husband to use my name, especially when the kids are around. I might be used to hearing “Mom” from our pediatrician or eye doctor, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it.
Motherhood is a sacred role — no denying that. Some might argue that the significance of this role deserves constant recognition. But I believe that because being a mom is so special, only my kids should have the honor of calling me “Mom.” It’s like a cherished nickname, reserved solely for them. I’ve loved witnessing the transition from “Mama” to “Mommy” to “Mom” over the years.
Yet, there’s an odd obsession in today’s society that both elevates and undermines motherhood. We hold mothers in high regard while simultaneously slapping “mom” in front of everything they do. So, we have “mommy bloggers” and “moms’ night out,” not to mention “mom friends.” But why? Does adding “mom” somehow elevate the activity? And if it does, how?
For some, the “Mom” label is a comforting reminder of their important role. But for me, being a mother is already an all-encompassing identity that I cherish. Beneath that layer of motherhood, I’m still the woman I’ve always been, complete with interests and passions that go beyond parenting.
Mothers are multi-faceted beings — caregivers, healers, organizers, and leaders — and these traits exist independently of our titles. Just like our love for college football, our occasional colorful language, or our taste for dark red cabernets, our identities are diverse. Motherhood doesn’t overshadow the rest of our lives; it intertwines beautifully with everything else.
Yes, we are “Mom” to our little ones, and for many of us, this role is one of the most rewarding experiences we’ll ever have. It shapes us, strengthens us, and yes, defines us. But let’s not forget that we are also friends, wives, daughters, and women — identities that existed long before motherhood and are equally significant.
So, unless you’re my child, let’s skip the “Mom” label.
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In summary, the title of “Mom” is a cherished designation reserved for my children alone. While motherhood is a vital part of my identity, it coexists with many other facets of who I am. Society’s tendency to brand everything with “mom” can dilute the unique significance of this role. So, let’s appreciate the complexity of motherhood without diminishing the other parts of our lives.