Don’t Suggest Yoga as a Cure for My Depression, Seriously

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Since I was seven years old, I’ve been grappling with treatment-resistant depression. This condition has dominated my existence, leading to countless hours spent in my room, tears streaming down my face, and pleading with the universe for companionship. As a child, I endured relentless bullying; it seems there’s something particularly satisfying about targeting the kid who cries. I’ve dealt with self-harm, starvation, and even faced an overdose in a desperate attempt to escape the pain (which, ironically, just led to a lot of sleeping). My daily routine involves juggling seven different psychiatric medications, and last year, I spent two weeks in an outpatient facility.

I have a friend, Alex, who insists that I should ditch the meds and discover my “true self.” This is absolutely absurd because my “true self” is dangerously suicidal. It’s the medications that allow me to be a present parent, love my family, and navigate life without spiraling into despair. You wouldn’t tell a diabetic to throw away their insulin in hopes of enjoying endless cheesecake, right? But since my meds influence serotonin instead of insulin, it’s somehow acceptable to claim they change who I am as a person. Insulin changes your life too—it keeps you alive, just like my meds.

Then there are those who swear by yoga as a path to sanity. If that were true, we wouldn’t have seen the Beatles go beyond Sgt. Pepper’s. As much as I recognize that some yoga poses do have their benefits, they’re not going to prevent my suicidal thoughts if I stop my meds. The last time I eliminated just one medication, I was a mess—exhausted, irritable, and unable to function. I highly doubt yoga could remedy that.

Light therapy is another suggestion I’ve encountered. Sure, it might help those whose depression is directly linked to seasonal changes, but as someone who sought outpatient treatment in the middle of summer, I can assure you that sunlight isn’t my answer. Nor will one of those fancy light boxes work miracles for my brain.

Some folks, including my midwife, have introduced me to the Electronic Freedom Technique, which involves tapping while focusing on your issues. I call it nonsense. And please, save the conversation about essential oils for someone else. I only know of two—lavender and patchouli—both of which do not hold the cure for my depression. When you start down that road, I tune out because it reeks of a pyramid scheme that claims to solve everything from broken bones to brain tumors. I need real, targeted interventions. Do you understand what “serotonin reuptake inhibitor” means? If you can’t grasp the nuances of oxytocin and norepinephrine, then please keep your multi-level marketing kits to yourself.

Speaking of serotonin, did you know it’s produced in the gut? I’m well aware, thanks! No trendy diet is going to fix my issues. Sure, gluten makes me feel awful, but that’s due to non-celiac gluten intolerance, not some magical psychological remedy. I’ve experimented with Paleo diets and elimination diets, and yet I still found myself consumed with thoughts of impending doom. So, forgive me for shutting down the conversation when you suggest dietary fixes—I’ve probably tried more diets than you even know about.

And then there’s the ever-popular suggestion to exercise more. Yes, I could use a little more movement. However, I recently hiked up a mountain in North Carolina, so I can’t be in that bad shape. Exercise is wonderful—I used to run eight miles a day. But during those times, I still cried at night over feelings of inadequacy and loneliness. I could run marathons, but without my meds, I’m still left contemplating harmful thoughts.

So please, don’t encourage me to abandon my medications or propose outlandish solutions you stumbled across on a talk show or the internet. I live with treatment-resistant depression, and while I take my prescribed medications, I feel stable. Without them, I struggle. I’ll continue taking my meds—thank you very much.

For more insights on this topic, check out one of our other blog posts at Intracervical Insemination.

In summary, living with treatment-resistant depression is a battle, and while many people offer well-meaning but misguided advice, it’s crucial to recognize that medications play a vital role in managing my condition.