I’ve been fortunate with my younger child. He’s laid-back, super cuddly, and easy to calm down. In contrast, my older son was a fireball from day one, so having a more mellow younger sibling has been a breath of fresh air. I thought I had dodged the terrible twos altogether. While turning three brought a few minor meltdowns, nothing prepared me for the drama of age three and three-quarters. Suddenly, my sweet little boy has turned into a threenager, and his angst has reached new heights. Honestly, I just want to shake his screeching, indignant self sometimes. He has opinions on everything, screams like a banshee when things don’t go his way, and shows relentless determination.
It’s not just a few pet peeves; he’s got a whole list of grievances. And honestly? He really needs to chill about it all. Here are a few items on his list. I know he’s just three, but some of these things shouldn’t matter this much to him.
- Candy
I get it; candy is the sweetest treat on the planet. It’s colorful and addictive. But starting at 6 a.m. and asking me hourly until you get a piece after dinner? I can’t handle that kind of begging. - His Private Parts
Let’s face it: for little boys, their anatomy is a fascinating discovery. The other day, he was wearing underwear (a rare feat), and he still managed to stick his penis through the opening and jump around. “Can you please put your penis away?” I asked. “But it’s just so beautiful, Mommy,” he replied. You can’t make this stuff up. - “Helping”
My son really wants to help clean. This translates to him spraying soap everywhere, turning the floor into a slippery mess. His intentions are good, but I’m left with more of a cleanup than I started with. Thanks for the “help,” dude. - How I Cut His Nuggets
The other day, I forgot to cut up his chicken nuggets, and chaos erupted. The next day, I made sure to cut them, and he had an even bigger meltdown. I can’t win here! - YouTube Toy Videos
First, it was those odd “Surprise Egg” videos. Now, he’s moved on to a channel where some overly enthusiastic person opens entire toy packages, complete with store recommendations. Nope, not happening. - Every Item His Brother Touches
If his older brother plays with marbles, it’s “Give me the marbles!” If his brother wants a sandwich, it’s “I want that sandwich!” Even if he doesn’t like it. If it’s his brother’s, he must have it—no exceptions. - The Bread and Cereal Food Group
My younger son was supposed to be the good eater, but now he’s ditched everything for bread and cereal. Tonight, he wanted pita chips for dinner. When I told him that’s not a full meal, he said, “Mommy, pita chips can be dinner in your imagination.” Gotta give him props for creativity. - Cleaning Up After Potty Time
He’s very particular about wiping after using the potty. For pees, it’s three squares of toilet paper followed by a baby wipe. Why? Don’t ask. And for poops, I guess I’ll be wiping him until he heads off to college. - Food Contact
When he eats anything other than pita chips or bagels, I dare not let different foods touch on his plate. If they do, you’d think the world was ending. - Shopkins
At first, I thought, “What are these tiny, plastic things?” But they’re growing on me. They’re cute, and collecting them is fun. However, if I have to hear him ask about each one or whine over a misplaced toy one more time, I might just lose my mind. - Wetness
Is my child the only one who can’t deal with anything wet? I hand him toast, and it’s “too wet.” Yogurt is also “too wet.” Yet, he has no issue soaking himself when washing his hands. If I mention he’s made the bathroom “too wet,” he looks at me like I’m crazy. - Clothing
He views clothing as an oppressive invention. He’ll wear it outside or when guests are over, but as soon as we’re home, off it goes. The other day, he realized he still had clothes on and panicked, “Oh no! I left my clothes on by accident!”
It’s a good thing my threenager is also one of the funniest kids out there. I’m hoping this phase will pass, but I know asserting his opinions, no matter how exhausting for parents, is a key part of his development. Still, I wish it wouldn’t all hit at once and be so loud.
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Summary
Navigating the challenges of parenting a threenager can be a rollercoaster ride filled with meltdowns over seemingly trivial matters. From candy cravings to clothing protests, each day presents a new set of demands and hilarious moments. Understanding that this phase is part of their development can help parents maintain their sanity.