I wouldn’t exactly label myself a helicopter parent. I never intended to be that mom who swoops in at the first hint of trouble. But when you have two little ones born just a year apart, your mom instincts kick into overdrive, and before you know it, you’re the one sprinting to catch every fall or scream.
That was, until recently.
My kiddos are now 3 and 4, and guess what? They can actually do things by themselves! You may be thinking, “Well, duh, Jamie,” but it wasn’t until I had reached my limit that I fully realized their potential.
As an introverted stay-at-home mom, life can feel a bit chaotic. Some days, I just want to bolt from the house, tear off my clothes, yank my hair out, and escape to the mountains. The constant tugging, poking, and chatter about everything (and nothing) can be overwhelming. They seem to need me for everything, from playtime to snack time, and the whining and bickering never end. It’s a non-stop cycle!
Then one day, during my laundry marathon, my son asked for some string cheese. I took a deep breath and said, “You know what? You can get it yourself.” He looked shocked at first, then burst with excitement! Off he went to the fridge, and that small moment of independence opened the floodgates.
I started encouraging my kids to tackle more tasks on their own. I handed my daughter the ingredients for a peanut butter sandwich, and wouldn’t you know, she did great! She even put the plastic knife in the trash when she was done. I was thrilled to have a few moments of peace to myself.
If I’m clear about what he needs to wear, my son can dress himself, even if his shirt ends up backward. It’s a small win for me, giving me precious minutes to take care of my own tasks uninterrupted.
You know what’s surprising? Kids can actually entertain themselves if you give them a little space. Not in a neglectful way, but more like, “I’ve got my own stuff to do, so you’re on your own.” I’m teaching them to be independent and to cooperate with each other. I’m no longer the sole rescuer for lost toys or snack requests. They’re old enough to handle it!
I’ve also stepped back from the endless referee role. I make sure no one’s getting hurt and step in if things escalate, but I don’t intervene at the first sign of a disagreement over toys. They need to learn to resolve these things themselves.
I’ve also stopped being the constant source of attention. While they are my world, they can’t be the center of my universe every second of every day. It’s crucial for them to find their own fun.
I initially took this approach for my own sanity. I needed time to breathe, to sit down, and to handle my own work and chores. What started as a necessity for me ended up being a valuable lesson for them, too.
Now, instead of being the fun director, I’m their mom, tasked with raising resilient individuals who know how to stand on their own two feet. It wasn’t a walk in the park, and there were bumps along the way, but by letting them take charge, they’ve grown and I’ve gained a more peaceful home environment.
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Summary:
I’ve discovered that my kids, now aged 3 and 4, are capable of doing things independently. By stepping back, I’ve allowed them to take on responsibilities, which has not only given me some much-needed personal time but has also fostered their growth and independence. Rather than being the constant source of entertainment or intervention, I’m now focused on raising capable individuals. This shift has led to a more harmonious household, proving that sometimes, stepping back allows our children to step up.