The summer has been a whirlwind. My partner heads off to work, leaving me to face the day with all three kids at home. I find myself staring at the clock, wishing it could magically fill our hours with fun activities. I’m their entertainment, their go-to for every need. Attempts to organize playdates fall flat as friends scatter to beaches or family gatherings, or are busy with their own jobs, like I once was.
On those sweltering days when the pavement burns our feet, I daydream about the beach. Instead, we retreat to our air-conditioned sanctuary, blinds drawn, where the playroom’s contents are dragged from room to room. It’s like living in a disheveled maze of board game pieces and scattered toys.
Honestly, I’ve been craving the start of school for ages. However, the overwhelming relief of shifting my duty from three kiddos to just one—especially during grocery runs—can’t overshadow the fact that my oldest is starting kindergarten. Kindergarten! Like many milestones in my children’s lives, this transition brings a flood of mixed feelings. Let me break it down:
Anxiety
My eldest is not a morning person, and neither am I. Our morning routine typically goes like this:
- Me: Time to get dressed!
- (Five minutes later) Me: Seriously, it’s time to get dressed!
- (Another five minutes) Me: Are you even listening?
Then, I’m left to grab the car keys and the other kids, pretending I might leave her in her pajamas because, clearly, my child would rather solve a Where’s Waldo? puzzle for the 188th time than listen to me.
Tantrums ensue
Tears flow. Mornings at our place are chaotic. Who knows what next Tuesday will bring? It’s entirely possible that my darling will be the only tardy kid on her first day of kindergarten.
Anxiety
I’ve confirmed with her preschool buddies, and none are in her kindergarten class. I’m not typically the mom who overanalyzes her child’s feelings, but I can’t help but worry a bit. Sure, she’ll be fine, but I’ll still be thinking about her on that first day, hoping she doesn’t feel lonely or left out, and I’ll feel a twist in my heart.
Anxiety
As a first-time public school parent, I’m surrounded by seasoned veterans who seem to breeze through drop-offs, pickups, school lunches, and PTA meetings. I’m like a lost soul entering a Zumba class for the first time—totally bewildered.
Anxiety
Please, let her not be “that kid.” Let her keep her fingers out of her nose, use her manners, and remember to be quiet when the teacher speaks. For the love of all that is good, let her avoid using the words “vagina” or “nipples,” which just happen to be her current favorites. I want her to step into this new world and show everyone what a fantastic parent I am.
So yes, I might be a tad anxious about kindergarten—but I won’t let my 5-year-old see it, especially since she has her own worries. For her sake, I’ll keep it together long enough to send her off with a hug and a wave. Then I’ll probably shed a tear in the car, drop my middle child at preschool, and head to the grocery store with the baby, feeling grateful for the next 180 days of this routine before summer rolls around again.
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In summary, the countdown to kindergarten is filled with excitement and a fair share of anxiety. As a parent, it’s natural to worry about our children’s experiences, but we also must prepare ourselves for this new chapter.