12 Insights Gained from 7 Years of Marriage

By Jamie Parker

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Marriage is a journey of self-discovery, and throughout my seven years with my husband, Mark, I’ve learned a great deal—not only about him but also about myself. Both of us have embraced growth and change, and together we’ve navigated the ups and downs that come with being married. Here are the key lessons I’ve gathered along the way:

1. The Initial Years Are Tougher Than You Think. Those early days can be a shock, especially when you discover your partner’s odd habits—like drinking directly from the milk jug. But as you learn to sidestep the trivial issues and advocate for the important ones, you start to find harmony. Eventually, you reach a point where you know each other so well that words become unnecessary. But let’s be honest, sometimes you still need to speak up about the milk jug.
2. The Toilet Seat Argument Isn’t Worth It. Save your energy for the real challenges, like deciding who handles that dreaded 2 a.m. diaper change.
3. Invest in a Rug Doctor. We purchased ours before kids entered the picture, and it’s now one of our most valuable household items. Whether it’s cleaning up after a toddler’s mess or tackling crayon stains, a Rug Doctor has saved us countless headaches since 1972.
4. Makeup Isn’t Mandatory. While looking good can boost your confidence, when you’re both running on empty and surviving on caffeine, your husband won’t be judging your bare face.
5. Kids Will Drain Your Energy. They’ll occupy your thoughts around the clock, even when they’re not physically present. Remember to prioritize your relationship so you don’t end up as strangers in 20 years.
6. Communication Evolves. Sometimes it gets loud—especially with toddlers in the mix—but the more you engage, the better you learn to express yourselves. Over time, you’ll find arguments becoming less frequent as understanding grows.
7. Quality Time Becomes More Meaningful. Whether it’s sharing a beer on the porch or a moment of silence after bedtime, you start to treasure those little bits of togetherness that were once taken for granted.
8. Laundry Will Take Over Your Life. It’ll consume your thoughts. You might even consider setting it all ablaze, thinking it would be quicker than tackling the never-ending piles.
9. Culinary Skills Aren’t Essential. I’m not a chef, and my family is still alive! Master the basics like peanut butter sandwiches, and you’ll be just fine. If you want to get fancy, a jar of spaghetti sauce over boiled noodles will do the trick.
10. Different Interests Are Healthy. Early on, I wanted to be involved in everything my husband did. Now, I relish my alone time. Pursuing separate hobbies fosters independence, helping you remember your pre-parenting self.
11. Everyone Needs Downtime. I used to think my husband had it easy being out all day. But as I realized how hard he works, I learned that we both need breaks to keep our home happy.
12. You’ll Change Over Time. And that’s a good thing! If you’re growing together, you’ll adopt new perspectives and improve your communication. Stagnation means missing out on teaching your children how to grow individually while working together.

The best advice I received about marriage? “Some days, you’ll look at your partner and question why you married them.” It’s true. You’ll have those moments of doubt, but if you’re both committed to growth, your friendship and partnership will deepen. Yes, you’ll have to compromise, and while you may never fully convince him to stop drinking from the milk jug, you can certainly negotiate who handles those 2 a.m. diaper changes.

For more insights on navigating relationships, check out this resource or explore ACOG’s guide on treating infertility. And if you’re looking to expand your family, CryoBaby has an excellent home insemination kit that can help!

In summary, marriage is an evolving journey filled with lessons about love, compromise, and personal growth.