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From A Widow: After The Funeral, I Never Went Home
I stumbled across an article that resonated deeply with me, titled “You Went to a Funeral and Then You Went Home.” I couldn’t help but start typing away before I even finished it.
When my husband passed away, I was overwhelmed by the outpouring of love and support from friends, family, coworkers, and even acquaintances. I felt nothing but gratitude and a strange sense of peace from their presence. The funeral was a beautiful affair; people shared stories, joked about his questionable flip-flops and less-than-stellar golf skills. We laughed, we cried—it was just right.
But then, everyone left. Everyone except for me.
I never truly returned home after that funeral. My house felt like a mere shell without him. It transformed from a warm home into just a house because he was my home. I felt displaced, like a puzzle piece that no longer fit anywhere. My life turned upside down, and it felt like I was navigating through a life that was not mine but was all I had left after my world was ripped apart.
I didn’t “go home” after my husband’s funeral; instead, I had to figure out how to create a new home from the remnants of the old one. It’s still a work in progress, a smaller and simpler space, yet there’s a comforting echo of what once was. While it’s different, these walls hold a warmth that reminds me of the love I shared with him.
The life I envisioned with him ended before I had the chance to fully embrace it. Now, I’m raising our child alone, and I find myself missing not just what was, but what could have been. I grieve for the anniversaries that will never be celebrated, the children we won’t have, and the years of laughter, compromise, and the little quirks of life that made our love unique. I miss the silly arguments about his bi-weekly barber trips when he could be helping with the baby. I miss our inside jokes about the cat (that no one else would understand) and the daily texts about mundane happenings. I miss his humor, his laugh, and his voice telling me he loves me. I miss him.
To everyone who attended the funeral and then returned to their lives, I genuinely appreciate your presence. Your support meant the world to me, and I am thankful for all of it. I can’t fully express how much your kindness has helped me navigate this profound loss. I hope you never find yourselves in my shoes. Instead, I urge you to cherish what you have. Honor my loss by being grateful for your blessings. Love deeply, argue less, and extend compassion to those who need it. Look at your families and remember that there are those missing theirs. You went to a funeral and then went home—never take that for granted.
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Summary
The author reflects on the profound sense of displacement felt after her husband’s funeral, expressing gratitude for the support received but also the deep sense of loss. She emphasizes the importance of cherishing loved ones and recognizing the fragility of life.