11 Ways Motherhood Has Made Me More Crafty with the Truth

I just outsmarted my kids without them realizing it. I told them that if they tidied their rooms and cleaned the bathrooms, we could treat ourselves to ice cream. This little trick also works wonders when I want them to finish homework, behave while I drag them through the aisles of Target, or simply quiet down. A sprinkle of sugar and some screen time bribes work like magic, but I must admit, a little fib now and then helps too.

Let’s face it: every parent I know has perfected the art of bending the truth. I’m pretty sure you’re guilty of it too. No need to feel bad about it. Most of us are just trying to survive the chaos of parenting. Before I became a mom, I thought a firm “no” or a simple directive would do the trick. Boy, was I wrong. Here are some of my favorite ways I’ve become a bit more resourceful with my truth-telling.

1. I claim the toy store is closed.

I can’t bear the thought of trudging through that chaotic place, only to emerge feeling like I’ve been through a war zone. Instead, we’re just going to pretend it’s closed until I muster up the strength to face that madness again.

2. I disguise their veggies.

Kids can be picky eaters, especially when it comes to greens. So, blending spinach into smoothies or pasta sauce? Totally acceptable! They don’t need to know about that sneaky addition. If they do catch me, I’ll just deny it and work on my blending skills next time.

3. I remind them Santa is always watching.

That little elf has a year-round surveillance operation! I use this tactic even in July. Honestly, it’s a solid reminder for them to behave, especially after the holiday sugar rush has worn off.

4. I feign ignorance about their missing treats.

“Who ate your candy? Couldn’t have been your mom, I’m just here minding my business!” I’m pretty sure a mouse is to blame, right? It’s way easier to shift the blame than to admit I indulged in their stash.

5. I utilize my kids as an excuse to avoid social events.

“Sorry, we can’t make it—my kids are under the weather.” Spoiler alert: they’re perfectly fine. I just need a day to recharge without having to put on pants.

6. I label cookie dough as poison.

No cookie dough for you, kiddos! You could get food poisoning! The reality? That delicious dough belongs to me, and I’m not sharing. I’m the queen here!

7. I threaten screen time bans but often backtrack.

I get carried away too often with my “no screens” decree. Let’s be honest—taking it away feels too hard, so sometimes I just throw in the towel and let them dive back into screen land.

8. I fake illness to dodge playdate hosting.

When a mom calls to invite her child over, I suddenly develop symptoms of a severe illness. One extra kid can really be too much to handle!

9. I exaggerate about the cost of basics.

“Wow, socks and underwear have skyrocketed in price!” I say while hiding my new boots. It’s more fun to pretend than to just say, “Look at my fabulous new boots!”

10. I keep date details under wraps.

I let my kids know not to share specifics about our special outings. But when they rush home and spill the beans about how great it was, it really diminishes the magic of those moments.

11. I stretch the truth to the doctor.

If the pediatrician asks, “Do your kids eat a lot of sugar?” my answer is a swift no! It’s a little white lie, but hey, if they cooperate, we’re off to grab burgers afterward.

I recognize these aren’t my proudest moments, but I embrace my imperfections because I know I’m not alone in this journey of parenting tricks and slight mischief. My kids have become my perfect excuse to sidestep social obligations, and I plan to keep using that excuse for as long as possible. Plus, who wants to hear about my perfect parenting moments? That would just be plain boring.

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