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Tomorrow Marks a Big Day
Tomorrow marks a big day for me and my little ones. I’ll rise early, kick off my morning with some reading, writing, and a sprinkle of prayer, then tiptoe down the stairs to whip up breakfast before sneaking back up to plant kisses on my boys’ foreheads and point out their chalkboard schedules.
Tomorrow, I’ll stroll down our concrete sidewalk, my hands busy holding onto two of my sons while the third—bless his adventurous spirit—either lags behind or races ahead, depending on his mood. With only two hands for three boys, it’s a balancing act. I’ll take my time making the half-mile trek to the school where I’ll leave my three little adventurers.
This year, one more of my babies will step into the world, joining 125 other kindergarteners as they venture from my cozy home into the big, wide unknown. Despite having done this twice before, my heart still feels heavy.
I know I’ll become just another parent lingering at the school entrance, watching my child take those brave first steps into a world I can’t control—a world that doesn’t adhere to my rules and can be filled with both thrills and spills. Sure, the anticipation has sparked a few tempers at home, and my partner and I have exchanged glances that scream, “Can school start already?” But deep down, the truth is, I’m not ready to let them go. Because when they leave, they step away from my encouragement, my hugs, and my protective gaze. They will always carry my love, but the absence of my physical presence stings.
Today, my three boys have climbed onto my lap more times than I can count, as if they understand that this is the last day before they enter a new chapter. Their little snuggles are persistent reminders of my reluctance to let them go. What if they struggle to make friends? What if their teacher doesn’t connect with them? What if the outside world dims their bright spirits?
Tonight, I’ll wander through my home, touching the backpacks hanging on their hooks and peeking into their rooms to admire their sleeping faces—so big yet still so small. I’ll pray for a fantastic year ahead, that they recognize their worth and bravery—even when they’re out there on their own. I can tell them how special they are every day, but it’s a lesson they must learn in their own time, away from the comforts of home.
Yes, I know this is part of growing up, and I want them to thrive and learn independence. But it’s hard to reconcile that desire with the ache of watching them leave. Just yesterday, it seems, they were tiny, helpless beings who depended on me for everything. Now they’re all tall and full of anticipation for this new adventure, while I’m left grappling with a bittersweet grief.
As I prepare for tomorrow, I know I’ll have to let him go into that classroom, to greet his teacher and make new friends—even if he won’t remember her name just yet. I’ll have to muster the strength to walk away, holding my partner’s hand for support, as we leave behind our three younger boys, who fill our home with life but also make it feel empty without their older brother.
I’m letting him take flight because I know he’s ready. He’ll stumble at times, but those experiences will help him grow stronger and more resilient. He’ll find friendships, discover new games, and create memories in that classroom. He’s capable of more than I realize and braver than I can imagine.
Tonight, I’ll sneak into his room for one last look at my little one, planting a gentle kiss on his cheek. Tomorrow is a big day. Tomorrow, he’ll take his first steps into the world, and while my heart aches, I’ll be standing nearby with tears of pride.
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Summary
Tomorrow is a pivotal moment as I prepare to send one of my sons off to kindergarten. The emotions of pride, anxiety, and bittersweet grief swirl within me as I reflect on letting my children grow and become independent. While I fear for their new experiences, I know they are capable of navigating the world ahead of them.