A Heartfelt Note to My Other Kids: From a Parent of a Special Needs Child

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Hey there, my amazing kiddos,

I want to start by saying that my love for you is as strong as it is for your little brother, Max, who has special needs and often demands a lot of my time and energy. I see how much you all cherish him, and it warms my heart to witness the bond you share. The way you shower him with love, whether it’s through sweet cuddles, shared Rice Krispies treats, or delightful games of chase, is truly beautiful. Max might not have a lot of words, but his growls and contagious laughter, not to mention those sparkly eyes behind his blue glasses, say it all.

But let’s be real; it can definitely feel frustrating sometimes. I know it must get old hearing me say, “I need to help Max right now,” or “I can’t go out; I have to stay home with Max.” I used to be the adventurous mom who hiked up sand dunes and zipped down slides at water parks, but lately, that adventurous spirit feels like a distant memory. Nowadays, I often feel weighed down, not only by Max’s needs but by the fact that he’s a speedy little runner who can escape in a flash!

I’m doing my best to balance my time among you all. Can you see my efforts? Sometimes it’s not just about Max. Sometimes it’s me, your regular ol’ mom who craves a chat with friends instead of witnessing the same headstand for the thousandth time. I’m still that person, but I know you all need me too.

When Dad is away, I always make it a point to snuggle with one of you in bed. I love those moments when we just talk about nothing. And I truly hear you when you ask why we don’t go out to dinner more often. We’ve managed to go out a couple of times recently, just for you! I’ve even arranged for a babysitter so we could build sandcastles without interruptions and swim freely as I watch you catch those waves. I want to be that mom you remember fondly.

Being a mom is tough, and I’m genuinely trying. I love you more than there are grains of sand on the beach, and I want to be there with you—holding your hand, smoothing back your hair, applying sunscreen to your noses, and pulling you into warm embraces.

Please remember to communicate with me when I seem distant. I know I mess up sometimes, and I can get a bit selfish with my time, but I promise I will keep striving for balance. Max is just one part of our family, and you three are the ones who truly shape my motherhood experience.

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In summary, I want you to know how much I love you and that I’m always striving to be there for you while balancing the needs of our entire family. Your patience and understanding mean the world to me.