When it comes to guiding our children toward good behavior, the approach we take often hinges on a couple of key factors. As a parent, I can definitely relate to the considerations that shape my reactions to my kids. We often chat about these insights in my pediatric clinic, where new parents navigate the tricky waters of child behavior.
These factors include:
- How much time do we have on our hands? Is it two hours, all night, or just ten minutes?
- What is the opportunity cost? What am I sacrificing to achieve the desired outcome?
I quickly weigh these two elements and make a prompt decision. My little one is keenly observing every expression, word, and gesture. “What will Dad do?” she ponders. “Will he be late for his appointment? Can I get away with this just once?”
If we want our children to exhibit good behavior, we need to employ all available strategies. Otherwise, we risk the chance of raising what some might jokingly refer to as a “problem child.” Fear not, this is all in good humor.
Proven Methods to Encourage Positive Behavior
Here are some proven methods to encourage positive behavior, many of which you’ll find in managerial training sessions and professional workshops:
Enforce Consequences:
Rules are meaningless without consequences. The issues we see in society stem from a disconnect between actions and repercussions. If children know there are no real consequences for breaking rules, they’re less likely to follow them. We must commit to enforcing these consequences firmly.
Set Clear Expectations:
It’s vital for children to understand what is expected of them. In our household, we strive to make this as clear as possible. However, just like Wall Street investors know, past behavior is no guarantee of future outcomes. As parents, our job is to establish these expectations clearly.
Offer Rewards:
Children love rewards for good behavior. This can range from simple praise to stickers, or even a treat (think fast food or ice cream). Depending on their age, rewards can also include extra screen time or story sessions. These methods have been tried and tested over time.
Promised Rewards (or Bribes):
One of the most effective motivators I’ve found is a promised reward. Like setting expectations, these promises must be clear and well-defined—no vague notions of “fun” or “goodies.” It must be specific. I’ve had success with various incentives, but cash seems to work best. Yes, I bribe my children for good behavior, and it’s been quite effective.
While we don’t resort to this tactic constantly, I argue that getting a child to engage in beneficial behavior for a reward (talk about instant gratification) is a small price to pay—especially if it means they won’t struggle later with reading or math because they were incentivized to put in the extra effort. While bribing a toddler might be cost-effective, dealing with a teen could be a different story altogether. Balance is key, and basic expectations shouldn’t require bribery. However, rewarding extraordinary efforts can be a worthwhile investment in the long run.
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In summary, parenting involves a balance of consequences, clear expectations, and strategic rewards to foster good behavior. By using these tools wisely, we can help our children grow into responsible and motivated individuals.