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We Now Pause This Marriage for Fantasy Football Season
Ah, it’s that dreaded time of year again. The summer sun is fading, kids are heading back to school, and looming over our household is the impending chaos of fantasy football season. For 17 weeks, life as we know it comes to a screeching halt, along with responsibilities, home projects, and quality family time, all on hold until February.
Can someone please explain why fantasy football is such a big deal? I genuinely don’t get it. To me, it ranks among the silliest pastimes imaginable. It’s not even real; how can someone invest so much time, energy, and money into an imaginary lineup they’ve concocted?
These so-called “leagues” seem like a gathering of beer-bellied guys in their parents’ basements, convinced they can manage a sports franchise better than the pros. They munch on snacks and reminisce about their childhood dreams of playing football, much like those folks who get lost in Dungeons & Dragons—only this time, they’re dealing with real-life athletes. I’d argue it’s just as nerdy.
I’ve got a fantasy football fanatic at home. My husband spends countless hours poring over player stats, analyzing game footage, and plotting his fantasy team during the summer months. All this effort for a shot at winning a mere $200 by season’s end? Seems totally worth it. Imagine how that time could’ve been spent with family or tackling home improvement tasks instead of being glued to a screen.
This year, as the all-important draft day approached, my husband dove headfirst into research mode. ESPN was on a constant loop, and every spare moment was filled with stats analysis and strategy sessions for his imaginary team. His dedication is impressive, to say the least.
And then there are the so-called “experts” on TV and radio, with their endless chatter about stats, injuries, and predictions. What qualifies them as experts? Are they wizards? It’s a game of luck and unpredictability, not some intellectual sport. Their predictions are just as reliable as tossing a coin.
Before we tied the knot, I had no idea I’d lose my husband for half the week during football season. Sure, I knew he liked the game, but this level of obsession was a surprise. I never considered that the arrival of our child, summer vacations, or family events might hinge on draft schedules and game days.
One year, he won a league and scored a whopping $200. Great, right? But that cash ended up shredded by our mischievous pup, Max. My first thought was, even the dog disapproves of fantasy football! But I couldn’t let that cash slip away so easily. I induced Max to vomit—yes, I really did this—and documented the whole ordeal. After a messy clean-up, we painstakingly pieced the bills back together. It took weeks, but we finally deposited that cash. Talk about a wild ride!
Now for the best story: Almost three years ago, I was pregnant with our third child, and her due date coincided with the football draft. Oh great. What was my husband going to do if he missed drafting his all-important fantasy team? Luckily, in 2013, remote drafting became an option. Just hours after our daughter was born, he was in full drafting mode, while I was desperately trying to recover. All I could hear was the incessant clicking of his mouse as he selected players, alongside the occasional expletive when the internet was lagging. Somehow, we’re still happily married after that!
In summary, guys, it’s time to get a grip. Enjoy your little game, but when it starts to interfere with relationships, family, and finances, maybe it’s time for a reality check.
Want to know more? Check out our other blog posts, like this one on home insemination. If you’re looking for guidance on artificial insemination, visit Make A Mom, a trusted authority on the subject. For comprehensive information on pregnancy, the World Health Organization is an excellent resource.