Having lived with chronic conditions for years, like severe migraines and thoracic outlet syndrome, I was aware that my health would influence my parenting journey. However, nothing could have prepared me for the reality once I became a mother.
I’ll never forget one particular night when my baby was just a few months old. It was around 3 a.m., and every little movement sent waves of pain through my body. As my colicky infant stirred, I felt a wave of panic; how was I supposed to hold him? At that moment, the intensity of my migraine left me trembling and nauseated, with blurry vision and silent tears streaming down my face. All I wanted was for dawn to break, but eventually, it did, both in the literal and metaphorical sense.
Since then, I’ve gathered a treasure trove of lessons about parenting while managing chronic pain. Here are some nuggets of wisdom I wish to share with other moms navigating this challenging path:
- You’re Not Alone.
Living with chronic pain can be a lonely experience, especially for new moms. The unique nature of pain often isolates us, and the demands of parenting can amplify that feeling. Even with a sturdy support system, it’s easy to feel utterly alone in your struggles. Remember, you’re not in this by yourself — even if it sometimes feels that way. - Your Parenting Style is Unique.
The internet is bursting with parenting advice, and while it can be empowering, it can also be overwhelming. There’s no one-size-fits-all approach, and it’s crucial to find what works for you and your child. Some moms may thrive with breastfeeding, while others, like me, might find it physically taxing. Dismiss the noise and trust your instincts; only you know what’s best for your situation. - Adjust Your Expectations.
Before motherhood, I was convinced that babywearing was the holy grail of parenting. However, after one exhausting grocery trip with my son in a carrier that left me in severe pain, I realized I had to rethink my approach. Now, I keep him close in a stroller where we can share smiles and laughter without straining my body. It’s okay to adapt your parenting to fit your health needs. - Release the Guilt.
“Guilt” is a recurring theme for many parents dealing with chronic pain. I often found myself wishing I could do things differently or be more flexible in my parenting expectations. If I had embraced the idea that my health needed to take priority, I would have saved myself a lot of unnecessary regret. - Embrace Support.
It’s perfectly okay to accept help from others. Whether you lack a partner or have one, it can be easy to feel like you must do it all alone. Allow someone else to step in, whether it’s for nighttime feedings or household chores. Your child will flourish with the love and attention of others, even if you’re not always physically present. - Utilize Available Resources.
When my son was born, I struggled to find information about safe medications for breastfeeding. After consulting with a lactation specialist, I learned about options that allowed me to manage my pain without compromising my parenting. Don’t hesitate to explore helpful resources like the Cleveland Clinic or Infant Risk Center for guidance. For those considering formula feeding, check out Suzanne Barston’s Fearless Formula Feeder site for support.
Parenting with chronic pain can feel daunting at times, but remember that you possess incredible resilience. Adapt your methods, lean on your support system, and keep striving for positivity for both yourself and your little one.