To the Expecting Mom Who’s Feeling Overwhelmed

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As I gazed at the smudge my slipper had left on the bedroom wall a few months back, my eyes shifted to my little one. It hit me: I needed to reach out for help. That smudge had come from a chaotic moment involving a stockpot of sauce and meatballs—unfortunately, I had added a dash of shattered glass from a broken lid. When that lid exploded just an hour before the Christmas gathering I had volunteered to host, six weeks after giving birth, I went into full-on tornado mode. My slippers flew off as I raced to grab my purse and car keys, while my husband stood frozen, cradling our baby, likely questioning my sanity as I unleashed a string of expletives that would make a sailor blush.

The Struggles Begin

A few months into my pregnancy, I started feeling the weight of exhaustion—not just from growing a tiny human but from the constant nausea. I quickly realized I wasn’t enjoying this journey at all. The unsolicited advice and attention felt suffocating. I longed for the days when I could wake up without feeling queasy or sit down without dozing off. I was tired of being told to be careful, whether I was walking the dog or using a step stool. The loneliness crept in, and I felt ashamed for not wanting to celebrate my pregnancy like everyone else seemed to. All I wanted was to disappear until my daughter arrived.

At that time, I had heard of postpartum depression, but I thought that couldn’t possibly apply to me since I was still pregnant. I felt selfish; I had friends who had experienced miscarriages or faced years of challenges to conceive. How could I complain? I was oblivious to the existence of prenatal depression, which shares many symptoms with postpartum depression. So, I put on a brave face in public while sobbing privately, battling daily anxiety attacks that left me gasping for breath. Stress got so bad I developed shingles. I couldn’t fathom bringing my daughter into the world with such a frazzled version of myself.

And that’s the crazy thing about pregnancy—if you aren’t glowing like the magazines say you should, you feel pressured to fake it.

Reaching Out for Support

After giving birth, my emotional state became even more fragile, but I brushed it off as typical new mom woes. It wasn’t until one chilly March morning, covered in baby spit-up and juggling work emails while holding a wailing infant, that I hit rock bottom. Sitting on my bedroom floor, staring at that smudge on the wall, I finally made the smartest choice I could: I called my doctor.

Through my tears, she gently asked how soon I could come in. When I arrived for my appointment, I opened up about my feelings, unsure if medication was the right path for me. Her response made me wish I’d sought help months ago: “You’re incredibly strong for making it this far without giving up. But how’s your quality of life right now?” She recommended I see a therapist and prescribed a low dose of anti-anxiety medication, assuring me it wasn’t a lifelong commitment. Gradually, I began to pull myself out of that dark place. I realized that prioritizing my well-being was essential—not just for me, but for my family too.

You Are Not Alone

To all the mamas-to-be who feel compelled to suffer in silence for fear of appearing ungrateful—I hear you. You’re not a bad person for finding pregnancy challenging, even if you have no visible complications. You’re worthy of motherhood, and you will be a loving parent. But you don’t have to pretend everything’s fine.

Seek help. Find a therapist. Talk to your doctor about your mental and emotional health during pregnancy, not just your physical needs. Share your feelings with trusted friends and family. You don’t have to navigate this journey alone. If you suspect you might be experiencing prenatal depression or need extra support, check out resources like WebMD for valuable insights on coping strategies.

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Summary

This piece encourages pregnant women feeling overwhelmed to seek help without guilt or shame. It highlights the importance of mental health during pregnancy, discusses the author’s personal experiences, and offers resources for support and self-care.