I Wasn’t Prepared for This Stage of Parenthood: The Un-Needed Phase

home insemination Kit

Sometimes I feel like I’m caught in a time loop. Another summer has flown by, and the nights are getting cooler. Soccer season is in full swing, and dance lessons are just around the corner. Before we know it, Thanksgiving will come knocking, followed swiftly by Christmas, lacrosse practice, track meets, and recitals. And then comes that bittersweet moment—the last summer when both of my kids will be under the same roof. With each month that passes, I can’t shake the feeling that an ending is drawing near.

How did we get here so quickly?

It feels like just yesterday I was sweating it out at the pool with my 2- and 4-year-olds, worrying about my post-baby swimsuit body while keeping a watchful eye to prevent any drowning disasters. Kindergarten, let alone high school or college, seemed eons away. I remember sharing a knowing glance with another mom at the baby pool.

Wouldn’t it be lovely to kick back under that big shade tree with a book? she seemed to communicate.

Absolutely, I thought back. I couldn’t wait for my daughter to be old enough to swim solo—so I could finally be off the hook.

And just like that, three years have passed since my last pool visit. My daughter’s swimming skills are proficient now, and she’d probably cringe if I showed up at the pool with her. She’s got her friends, her stylish swimsuits, and boys vying for her attention.

Recently, while cleaning under the bed, I stumbled upon a lone green Lego piece. Those days of constructing elaborate Lego worlds with my kids seem like a distant memory. Back when they were little, I often found myself wanting to fast-forward through certain phases, and the Lego phase was no exception. Perhaps it was the combination of my packed work schedule and the demands of young children that made me wish things would move along faster. Or maybe it was just my annoyance at stepping on tiny Lego pieces scattered throughout the house.

Rush. Rush. Rush.

If I could turn back time, I’d savor those moments a bit longer. I tucked that little green brick into my jewelry box as a reminder.

What happened to all those American Girl dolls? The mountain of stuffed animals? The princess costumes and the massive dollhouse? It feels like I should file a missing persons report. I’ve been replaced by friends, extracurricular activities, and their own interests.

And where did my sweet son’s floppy hair go? Now there’s a towering teenager with a crew cut who mainly grunts and says, “I don’t know.”

The lovely girl who now occupies the room once home to my spirited toddler recently asked me to pick up tampons and mascara while I was at the store. Oh my goodness!

In the mirror, I see a middle-aged woman staring back at me, complete with fine lines and gray roots.

Friday and Saturday nights are eerily quiet around here.

I’m no longer the young mom I once was. My kids don’t rely on me like they used to. But just the other day, my son asked me to toss him the lacrosse ball so he could practice. So, I did.

And last week, he invited me to watch Boyz n the Hood with him. I had deadlines looming, articles to proofread, and real estate calls to return. To be honest, I was looking forward to some uninterrupted time to tackle my to-do list.

But green Lego.

We watched the movie together and chatted about it afterward. It turned out to be one of the few peaceful moments we shared this summer.

My daughter tends to open up late at night, just when I feel like I might doze off. But I hang in there and listen—because as long as she needs me, I’ll be there.

They still require rides, guidance, and rules. And, like newborns, it seems they need to eat around the clock. The childhood toys are disappearing quickly, as is the food stockpile.

Yet change is a constant.

We’ve navigated numerous phases together, and now we’re headed toward new adventures and exciting beginnings. I’m determined to cherish every moment without rushing. Whether it’s watching a movie or having a heart-to-heart, I’ll put my own agenda on hold when necessary.

And that’s perfectly fine.

Isn’t that what all parents wish for? Independent children who still need us in their own unique ways? My mother reassures me that my kids will always have a need for me, just as I still need her, and that each stage of life brings its own challenges.

I guess I just wasn’t ready for how swiftly this un-needing phase would arrive. It’s like time operates at warp speed when you’re a parent. Those “lasts” sneak up on you like space debris.

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In summary, parenthood is a whirlwind of phases that change rapidly. As children grow, their dependence shifts, and parents find themselves adjusting to new dynamics. While I wasn’t prepared for how quickly my kids would become independent, I’m committed to embracing each moment and making the most of our time together.