I’ve dreamed of being a mom for as long as I can remember. My childhood was filled with dolls that I doted on, but looking back, the care I gave those plastic companions was a far cry from the realities of caring for a real baby. Back then, it seemed so effortless. I could cradle my dolls, shower them with kisses, and then set them down while I went about my day, blissfully cooking in my toy kitchen as they napped peacefully.
But reality hit hard when my first child, whom I affectionately dubbed my “Velcro baby,” arrived. I knew that a living, breathing baby was not the same as a doll, yet I still found myself taken aback by how demanding real baby care could be. I loved snuggling, nursing, and cuddling my newborn. Still, I was also a human being with a life to live (and some chores to tackle) – but my little one had other plans. He simply wouldn’t let me put him down.
Despite our cozy bassinet, a delightful baby swing, and a bouncy seat, my efforts to get him comfortable without being held were met with resistance. I remember the moment I tried to lower him into the bassinet after he had nursed himself into a milk coma. The instant I placed him down, his eyes shot open, seemingly asking, “What on earth are you doing, lady?”
After multiple attempts at swaddling and using a blanket with my scent, I resorted to the one thing that occasionally worked: the baby swing – but that was only about 15% effective. Realizing I was fighting a losing battle, I surrendered. When my husband was around, he held him, but most of the time, it was me. You know what? It wasn’t half bad. Once I stopped stressing about getting my baby comfortable elsewhere, we both felt a lot happier.
I soon learned about the so-called “fourth trimester,” which explains that human babies aren’t entirely ready for the world, needing that extra time close to a caregiver’s body. While other mammals emerge ready to walk, we humans arrive as helpless little beings. Like kangaroos, we need that comforting closeness, and any warm body next to us will do.
I eventually mastered babywearing, figuring out how to use a pouch sling that allowed me to have my hands free. My life became much easier as I adapted to doing things one-handed. Who knew I had that talent hidden away?
Since my Velcro baby’s arrival, I’ve become a breastfeeding counselor. One of the most common questions I get is, “Help! My baby cries every time I put him down!” Many moms worry they’re doing something wrong – but let me assure you, it’s not a reflection of your parenting skills. Most babies go through phases where they just need to be held. It’s normal, and it doesn’t mean you’ve created bad habits.
I understand the struggle of having a clingy baby all too well. It can feel overwhelming, but remember, it won’t last forever. By 4 or 5 months, most babies start to be okay with being set down, although some take a bit longer, and that’s perfectly fine.
“It’s okay. It’s normal. You’re doing a great job.” Those words were what I needed to hear when my baby was glued to me 24/7, and I didn’t know how I’d make it through. So, if you’re in the thick of it, hang in there – you will make it too.
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