The moment I discovered I was expecting my third child, the reality of my new life set in. The very next morning, I was navigating the stairs with my two toddlers in tow, singing our usual silly song, “Two Tiny Terrors,” as we headed for breakfast. However, it quickly became apparent that my days of carrying them both were numbered. Soon enough, I’d be feeling swollen and achy, and it was time to reevaluate our morning routine. So, I gently put them down and reached for their little hands instead. Cue the dramatic meltdown! They screamed, cried, and flailed about while I stood there, wondering how I’d manage to soothe both of them while nursing a newborn.
With my first child, I was overly focused on not neglecting him when his sister arrived, but juggling three kids was a whole new level of chaos. I realized I had to change my approach to maintain my sanity. Here are five things I stopped doing once my third baby arrived:
- I Stopped Inviting Visitors to the Hospital.
When the time came for me to deliver, I made it clear that I wanted privacy. My husband made a few necessary calls, but I quickly snatched the phone away, reminding him that I was in the thick of contractions. I craved solitude with my husband and new baby, not a parade of visitors hanging around, waiting for me to pop that kid out. - I Stopped Overexerting Myself.
With two kids already, I felt outnumbered, but when the third came along, it was like a circus. All three would cry, poop, or demand food at the same time. I had to accept that I couldn’t attend to each child’s every need simultaneously. We all learned to embrace a little chaos, and, believe me, we’ve grown stronger for it! - I Stopped Caring About Everything.
If my older kids ended up watching hours of cartoons while I nursed the baby, so be it! I let go of the pressure to be the perfect mom. Gone were the days of making organic snacks from scratch. Store-bought snacks became my best friends, and I laughed off unsolicited parenting advice. If it seemed rude, I didn’t care. - I Stopped Allowing Uninvited Guests.
The days of surprise visitors were over! Unless you were bringing dinner and knew your way around my kitchen, you weren’t welcome. My energy was drained, I cried often, and pants were optional. If you weren’t ready to help me out, then you could just stay away. - I Stopped Saying Yes to Everything.
My family bore the brunt of this one. I began saying “no” more often: “No, I can’t play dragons right now; I have to feed your brother.” I also trimmed my social commitments. Those who understood my new reality stuck around, while others faded away, and honestly, that was for the best.
I even stopped doing simple things like showering or finishing my meals in peace. The transition to three kids was tougher than I expected, flipping my world upside down. But deep down, I knew I could love my three children fiercely, even if it meant saying no or embracing a messy house. I learned to empower myself by letting go of unrealistic expectations so I could parent them in the best way I knew how.
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Summary:
Welcoming a third child requires significant adjustments. From minimizing hospital visitors to letting go of the need to be the perfect parent, embracing chaos becomes essential. As I navigated the challenges of raising three kids, I learned to prioritize my mental health and create a more manageable family dynamic. This shift not only empowered me but also fostered resilience in my children.