The 4 Most Annoying Aspects of Living with Your Parents

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A few months before my daughter arrived, I left my full-time preschool teaching job to help my partner launch a local business. Life threw us a curveball, and we had to close shop just a year and a half later. As we strategized our next moves, which include a significant move across the country, we decided to temporarily stay in my in-laws’ home in my partner’s hometown to save some cash while we awaited paperwork.

Here are four of the most exasperating things I’ve faced so far:

1. Grandparents’ Spoiling Tactics Drive Moms Crazy

   Grandparents absolutely adore their grandchildren—and rightfully so. They relish the chance to be the fun ones, free from the burdens of strict discipline they once had to enforce. While it’s heartwarming, the downside is that their “right to spoil” often undermines the routines and rules I’ve carefully established.

   For instance, my little one, who previously understood when to stop eating at my insistence, now follows anyone with food around like a puppy, whining for more. And bedtime? Forget it! When Grandpa comes home and races him up and down the hallway right before sleep, it’s like I have a mini tornado on my hands, leading to a grumpy child the next day. Isn’t it amusing how it’s always Mom who ends up dealing with the fallout?

2. Old-School Parenting vs. New Guidelines

   “Well, I let my son sit on my lap while driving, and he turned out fine.” Sure, but parenting standards have evolved since then! It’s important to recognize that what worked decades ago may not be safe today. While I appreciate my in-laws’ experience, I often find myself explaining why certain practices—like the necessity of rear-facing car seats—are now standard.

   Their pride gets a bit bruised when I start with, “Doctors now recommend…” because it stings to realize they’re no longer the go-to experts. It’s like trying to convince someone that the world isn’t flat, and you end up having these dialogues daily, turning simple meals into parenting workshops.

3. Feeling Judged on Every Decision

   While grandparents can feel defensive about their parenting approach, I constantly find myself justifying mine. It’s not enough to say, “Please don’t let the baby play with empty pill bottles.” No, I have to launch into a full-blown presentation on why it’s a bad idea.

   Even when they relent, I catch the sotto voce murmurs of, “I don’t agree, but I guess we’ll do it your way.” It’s exhausting, especially when I’m already second-guessing myself as a parent. The worst part? Hearing about their judgments from my partner after his visits with them. It’s like reliving high school drama without the option of blasting music in my room to cope.

4. An Interrogation Every Time You Leave the House

   Remember the relentless questioning from your parents as a teen? “Where are you going? Who are you with? When will you be back?” Moving back in as an adult means those interrogation techniques are back on the table.

   My partner and I are both in our 30s and used to our independence, but now we have to report in with details every time we step out—where we went, what we bought, and even the baby’s bowel movements. And the inquisition doesn’t stop there; they want to know the baby’s entire schedule, down to the precise second he will sleep.

   While I understand some of it is just for conversation, when I’m already juggling the fallout from their spoiling, navigating their judgments, and feeling stressed about every decision, their barrage of questions can feel like the final straw.

But in the chaos, there’s a silver lining. I remind myself that their eagerness to spend time with my child means I can sit back for a moment. Even if I’m uneasy about leaving my kid alone with them (did they just give him ice cream?!), I don’t have to do everything myself. They can entertain, read, and even occasionally change a diaper—thank goodness for small favors!

In conclusion, living with your parents as a parent can be a rollercoaster of emotions. The challenges can test your patience, yet the love they have for your child offers you a reprieve.

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