I’m a Stay-at-Home Mom with Kids in School, But I’m Not Just Sitting Around All Day

home insemination Kit

Before I became a parent, I had a million thoughts about what raising kids would entail. Fast forward nearly a decade, and let me tell you, those ideas are downright amusing. The same goes for my expectations of being a stay-at-home mom (SAHM). Oh, how naïve I was!

Even during my days as a SAHM to little ones, I found myself chuckling at my misconceptions about the role of a SAHM with school-age children. You know, the classic stereotypes of binge-watching soap operas and munching on bonbons. Hilarious, right?

“What do you do all day?” people inquire, sometimes subtly, often not. I understand the curiosity. For those who don’t stay home, SAHMs can seem like a bit of a mystery. And when we have kids in school? It raises even more eyebrows. Seriously, what could we possibly be doing between 8 a.m. and 3 p.m. while others are taking care of our kids?

Well, since you’re asking, let me fill you in.

Many of us are juggling other jobs — the ones that help pay the bills (or at least a portion of them). The woman you see tending to her garden or walking her dog might actually be consulting with clients in between PTA meetings and playdates. She could be burning the midnight oil on her laptop after the kids are in bed or responding to emails while stuck in the carpool line. She might even be composing articles on her phone while the kids are at the park or researching suppliers for her new business while waiting for soccer practice to wrap up.

Others of us are busy coordinating medical appointments and wrestling with insurance companies to get our kids’ treatments covered. We’re attending meetings with teachers and specialists, tackling endless piles of laundry, and making multiple trips to the grocery store to stock up on snacks for the after-school playdates we host regularly.

Some of us are also helping aging parents with their appointments or teaching them how to navigate their new gadgets. We’re driving long distances to pick up specialized footwear for our children. We volunteer at soup kitchens, schools, and our churches. And yes, we’re also making another grocery run. We listen to our friends and family vent about their struggles with marriage and parenting. We’re planning family vacations and picking up dry cleaning. We’re coordinating community fundraisers and advocating for change. Oh, and did I mention we’re going to the grocery store… again?

And sure, once all the chores and obligations are out of the way, we might carve out time for ourselves. After conference calls and deadlines, we might grab lunch with a friend because, let’s face it, we all need adult conversations now and then. We might treat ourselves to a pedicure to avoid looking like we’re sporting lizard feet or get our hair colored to cover those pesky grays that have snuck in over the years. We might even spend a few moments in a bookstore, searching for that juicy novel while picking up a new chapter book for our kids. Hitting the gym for a workout? Yep, that’s on the list too — endorphins make us more pleasant to be around! And let’s not forget the joy of a long, hot shower after years of rushing through with dry shampoo.

Yes, our children — those energetic little beings that consumed our time and energy for years — are now in school for seven hours a day. But that doesn’t mean we’re sitting idly by, living a life of leisure, or jumping to volunteer whenever we’re called. We’re busy. We’re tackling numerous tasks, both significant and trivial. We engage in meaningful activities and allow ourselves indulgences.

My preconceived notions about being a SAHM were shattered right after my first child arrived, and as my kids have now entered school, my prior judgments about stay-at-home moms with school-age children have crumbled, too.

My days are filled with freelance work, client communications, and conference calls as I strive to rebuild my career. I’m running errands that used to seem impossible with little ones in tow. I’m re-learning how to prepare meals beyond mac and cheese and dinosaur chicken nuggets. I’m volunteering more and reconnecting with friendships that took a backseat during those chaotic years of parenthood. And yes, I may treat myself to lunch with a friend or a manicure or a leisurely stroll from time to time.

Contrary to popular belief, we’re not doing nothing. In fact, we’re actively engaged in a whirlwind of activities that keep our lives full. So let’s set the record straight: I’m not lounging around with soap operas and bonbons! It’s more like catching up on “The View” with a Kit Kat bar I found at the back of the freezer!

In summary, being a SAHM with school-aged children involves a busy, fulfilling lifestyle filled with responsibilities and self-care. We’re not just sitting around; we’re managing a multitude of tasks, both for our families and ourselves.