Updated: Sep. 12, 2023
Originally Published: Sep. 16, 2016
My partner, a dedicated doctor, faces the harsh realities of illness and loss every day. It’s a daunting task, and I often marvel at how he manages to cope with such heavy burdens each day, returning home to a semblance of normalcy.
Just yesterday, as he poured his morning coffee, I couldn’t help but ask, “What’s the saddest thing you encounter at work?”
He took a moment, his expression thoughtful. “Addiction,” he replied. “Without a doubt, addicts break my heart the most.”
I was surprised; I had anticipated he’d mention tragic accidents or terminal illnesses. “Why is that?” I inquired.
He shrugged. “I see people in pain all the time, and while all suffering is tragic, addicts often face their struggles alone. They usually come in without anyone to support them. When I ask if they have someone to call, their response is often a lonely ‘no.’ They carry so much shame, as if they deserve to suffer alone. The lack of empathy in our society for these individuals makes addiction even more heartbreaking.”
At first, I found myself feeling uneasy with his perspective. You see, addiction has cast a long shadow over my family. I’ve been advised to keep my distance and set firm boundaries with those who struggle, and it was far too easy to view them with resentment. I believed they had chosen substances over me, and rather than confronting the pain, I simply distanced myself.
I’m not proud of this attitude, but I recognize it’s a common struggle. Our society often grapples with how to respond to addiction, and sadly, this devastating disease is not going away anytime soon. While the suffering itself is awful, the added stigma, rejection, and disdain that many addicts face is a punishment that no one deserves.
It’s high time we embrace empathy for those battling addiction, and here’s why:
Addiction is a disease, not a personal failure.
Like diabetes or heart disease, addiction arises from a complex mix of factors—behavioral, environmental, and genetic. According to the National Center of Addiction and Substance Abuse, genetics can account for about 50% of a person’s risk of developing a severe addiction. This is a medical condition, and it deserves compassion.
Judgment is both unhelpful and harsh.
Relationships with those battling addiction can be intricate, and I get that. Establishing boundaries is essential. But when we judge someone for their illness, we diminish their struggles. Addiction alters brain chemistry, and expecting someone to simply overcome it is like asking a person with a broken leg to walk without crutches. Applying moral judgment to a medical condition is not only ineffective, but it’s also cruel.
Shaming worsens the suffering.
There’s a saying: “Don’t kick a horse while it’s down.” When someone is grappling with addiction, shaming them only exacerbates the problem. Research shows that fear of stigma is one of the primary reasons people hesitate to seek treatment. In contrast, social support is crucial for recovery. Shame does not motivate; it can be deadly for those already struggling with self-loathing.
Compassion is always the right choice.
For too long, society has shied away from compassionate approaches to addiction, fearing that empathy equates to enabling. In reality, showing compassion acknowledges their struggle and affirms that they are more than their illness. After all, individuals aren’t the problem; the problem is the problem.
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Summary
In summary, addiction is a complex disease that warrants empathy and understanding rather than judgment and shame. As society continues to grapple with this issue, it’s essential to recognize that compassion can foster healing and support recovery.