Her little face captivates me. She’s not yet 6, but just a toddler, only 2 years old. The look on her face mirrors one from a moment in the past — both occurring in the cozy bubble bath.
Let’s be honest: motherhood can be downright brutal. The guilt that comes with being a mom is very real. Balancing time with my husband while raising kids? A Herculean task. And those jokes about needing coffee and wine? They’re only half a joke.
Honestly, I’m relieved I didn’t fully grasp how challenging parenting would be when I decided to have kids; otherwise, I might have hesitated. I’m thankful I didn’t know that kids don’t easily adhere to sleep schedules like some parenting articles suggest. I’m grateful that I didn’t foresee my patience being tested beyond anything I thought possible. I’m glad I didn’t anticipate that my understanding of self-love would be rocked by the weight of motherly guilt.
Yet, in that moment, as she dumps soapy water down her back with a cup from her tea set, all those worries fade away. My appearance, the frequency of my workouts, or how often I sneak away to the bathroom alone — these concerns evaporate. They vanish, replaced by the image of her sweet face as she plays with her toys.
I feel a yearning to go back in time and cradle her infant body, free from the burdens of worries about the future. But I can’t. Instead, I reach out and embrace her 6-year-old self with gratitude.
I wish I could tell my new-mom self to prioritize rest and not to waste energy worrying about what lies ahead. But I can’t. Instead, I focus on caring for myself as best I can in the present. I wish I could remind myself to kiss my husband more often, to cherish our bond while juggling both wife and mother roles. But I can’t. So, I kiss him when I can, trying to balance love for all the special people in my life.
I want to tell my past self that I don’t need to “get anything back” for my efforts. But I can’t, so I smile at the changes in my body post-babies and embrace my beauty and the blessings that come with it.
I wish I could reassure my second-time mom self that it’s impossible to give the same attention to my new baby as I did my first, but that doesn’t equate to less love. But I can’t, so I hold my second baby close and shower her with love in every way I can.
I want to rewind and let the dishes sit while I indulge in playtime with my girls. But I can’t. So, I take the time now when they ask me to join them in their imaginative worlds.
I want to tell my first-time mom self that I did everything I could. I always did my best, even if hindsight offers a different perspective. But I can’t, so I acknowledge my efforts and hold space for both my achievements and my regrets.
To all the mothers out there: you are loved. Those who matter most to you see all the love and care you pour into your families. Take a moment to appreciate the unique world you’ve created within your home.
I can’t go back to capture every smile, hug, or milestone, but the beauty of life and love is that there’s always more to anticipate — more to cherish today.
I watch my 6-year-old embark on her kindergarten journey, while my toddler morphs into a little girl. I recognize how much awaits us, as well as the richness of what we already have.
Even if my coffee often goes cold because of a school bus to catch or a diaper to change, and my home remains a mess, the joys surrounding us are plentiful. Yes, parenting is tough. And yes, I’m grateful I didn’t know just how hard it would be. But I wouldn’t want to change a thing about my journey because every experience has brought us to where we are today.
Where we are is as sacred as holding a newborn or experiencing any other significant moment in life. This day — filled with lukewarm coffee, my little girls bickering, and the sweet chaos of trying to sneak a kiss from my husband while our toddler interrupts — will one day be cherished just as fondly as the years that have flown by.
Motherhood is undeniably hard. Yet, this phase of my life has shaped me in ways I never imagined. I’ve learned the true meaning of love and sacrifice, and I’ve received more joy and wonder than I ever thought possible.
I can’t turn back time or relive my life. But I don’t want to, because I see the love in my 6-year-old’s eyes, who calls me “Mom,” and I can pour my heart into both her and her little sister. That gratitude fills my heart to the brim.
If you’re curious about navigating this wild journey of parenthood and home insemination, be sure to check out our other blog post for more insights. And for those considering starting a family, Make A Mom offers great resources on home insemination kits. Additionally, Healthline is an excellent source for all things pregnancy and IVF.
In summary, motherhood may be tough, but it’s also incredibly rewarding, filled with love, laughter, and lessons that shape us every day.