My Child Earned His Academic Award, So Let’s Keep It Positive

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On a chilly November morning, I found myself kneeling down to examine my worn sneakers and jeans that were just a tad too short. As I nervously ran my tongue over my braces, I glanced to my left and saw my competition. It was the day of our school’s annual Turkey Trot Run, and as a fifth-grader, I was finally in the race. I vividly recall a classmate who had sat next to me for years squinting at me and declaring, “I’m going to beat you.”

As we awaited our start signal, a flurry of nerves danced around in my stomach. But when I rounded the final corner, it hit me: not only was I going to win the girls’ division, but I was also going to cross that finish line first! The cheers from my friends filled the air as I sprinted across, elated at finally being first at something. To top it off, I snagged a frozen turkey and made it into the newspaper. That memory still brings a smile to my face, even three decades later.

Now that I’m a parent myself, I often reflect on that day every time award season rolls around. It seems that parents today are far too focused on their children receiving accolades, and I’ve witnessed some pretty outrageous behavior from parents upset that their kid didn’t snag the top spot. Back when I won my race, the other kids didn’t complain about not getting a turkey. Parents weren’t whispering behind my family’s back about how their kid was more deserving. We raced, some won prizes, and we moved on.

So when did we start shaming kids for achieving awards?

Recently, our middle school held an exclusive academic awards ceremony, honoring students for their achievements and character traits. The moment those invitations were sent out, I saw parents of kids who weren’t invited erupt in frustration on social media. There was a barrage of complaints about unfairness, exclusion, and feelings of being wronged. I was taken aback by their sour grapes attitude.

Seriously? Complaining because our kids didn’t receive an academic award has become a thing?

It’s disheartening that we’ve morphed into a generation of parents who demand fairness for all, clinging to the “everyone gets a trophy” mindset. We argue with teachers, confront referees, and insist our child deserves more time on the field. We’re helicopter parenting to the point that our kids may struggle with rejection and the disappointment of losing once in a while. How did we get here?

I get it. Some kids may not excel in sports or achieve top grades for various reasons. But can we agree that there will always be a kid who shines? There will always be an MVP, a prom queen, or a valedictorian. While it would be lovely if our child was all of those, it’s just not realistic. There will be kids who star in the play because their voice is phenomenal or an athlete with Olympic potential. Why is it acceptable to downplay their gifts to avoid hurting others’ feelings?

In the weeks leading up to the awards ceremony, the complaining persisted. Conversations about demanding the principal eliminate the ceremony altogether dominated local discussions. It was heartbreaking to see moms belittle other kids’ accomplishments, especially since my son was among those honored. I felt proud of his achievements, yet the negativity from other parents made it hard to celebrate his well-deserved recognition. By the time the big night arrived, we attended quietly, and although I shared photos of him receiving his award, my joy was overshadowed by the complaints I saw circulating on social media.

My child may never be the sports MVP, and I would never dream of being upset about his exclusion from a sports banquet. I wouldn’t dare tell another parent whose child excelled that my kid deserves recognition too. I wholeheartedly understand that every child has unique talents, and sometimes it feels wonderful to be acknowledged for achieving something great. Though I wouldn’t complain to fellow sports parents, I might just remind them that my son comes from a proud line of Turkey Trot winners.

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In summary, we should cherish our children’s achievements and celebrate their successes without diminishing the accomplishments of others. There’s plenty of room for everyone in the spotlight!