30 Signs You’re an HGTV Superfan

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There’s a slippery slope between being a fan and having an obsession—especially when it comes to HGTV’s open-concept layouts, stunning granite counters, and those “bright and beautiful” design choices. If you find yourself glued to this channel, you might be on the verge of a decorative crisis. Before you know it, you’re painting every room a soothing gray and learning the names of the goats in Joanna and Chip’s backyard.

Here are some telltale signs you may be watching way too much HGTV:

1. You apply to be on every renovation series, even if you live nowhere near the filming locations.
2. You can identify the Property Brothers and have a favorite sibling.
3. You call your bathroom an en suite and feel fancy doing so.
4. You recognize traditional versus contemporary decor but still struggle with your own wardrobe.
5. You enter the HGTV Dream Home Giveaway annually, convinced this will finally be your year.
6. You secretly wish the Gaines family would adopt you.
7. You find yourself assisting random couples at Lowe’s, selecting tile when they just want potting soil.
8. You believe a simple open-concept floor plan and neutral palette can solve all of life’s problems.
9. You use words like “stylistic” and “rustic” to describe everything, even your lunch.
10. You plot ways to convert your backyard shed into a rental property.
11. You think your yard needs both a fire feature and a water feature to complement a pagoda your partner swears they can build, despite their DIY skills being questionable.
12. You feel a rush of excitement when carpet is lifted, hoping for hidden hardwood floors.
13. You get irrationally upset when friends can’t appreciate the charm of outdated wallpaper or vintage appliances.
14. You shake your head in disbelief when a couple exceeds their budget for a load-bearing wall.
15. You stage your home with precisely nine lemons in a bowl.
16. You ask your partner for a belt sander for the holidays.
17. Your baby’s first words are “curb appeal.”
18. You’ve made more trips to Waco than most people make to music festivals.
19. You have an eternal respect for Bob Vila, the original HGTV star.
20. You watch every single episode and think, “I could easily do that.”
21. You’re shocked when a couple chooses the clearly wrong house.
22. You wish to see David and Hillary star in a show called “Just Love It, Because They’ll Never List It.”
23. You decide every room in your home needs a makeover and are convinced you can finish it all in a weekend—structural changes included.
24. You name your dog “Shiplap.”
25. You evaluate homes based on whether they have double ovens and warming drawers.
26. You convince yourself you could totally DIY your yard, despite lacking knowledge in basic concepts like leveling and permits.
27. Your spouse comes home to find the house partially demolished, and you insist you’re flipping it.
28. You lose sleep worrying about the absence of accent walls.
29. You think a double sink vanity and a bidet are the keys to a happy marriage.
30. You dream of using reclaimed wood to furnish your entire home.

HGTV is like a visual addiction that’s hard to kick. Once you’re hooked, the only thing that might stop you is an intervention after you’ve started digging a hole for a pool complete with a 15-foot waterfall and a swim-up bar—because entertaining is everything, right? HGTV represents our aspirations for home and life, so it’s no wonder we can’t look away. Dreaming is part of the fun, especially if it involves an open-concept design and a soothing color palette.

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Summary

If you find yourself nodding along to these signs, it might be time to take a step back from the TV and reconsider your decor choices. Whether it’s dreaming of coastal-inspired living rooms or plotting renovations on a whim, HGTV has a way of drawing us into its dreamy world.