Parenting
By Clara Jennings
Updated: Feb. 19, 2021
Originally Published: Sep. 24, 2016
Kids are a whirlwind of creativity, producing everything from colorful crayon masterpieces to crafts that range from charming to utterly absurd. They create art featuring dinosaurs, princesses, and all manner of fanciful creatures. And let’s not forget the endless stream of school papers, tests, and shiny stickers that pile up on surfaces throughout the house, like a never-ending paper avalanche.
Related: Discover how to remove crayon from walls and other surfaces—because, well, kids.
So, dear child, here’s a little secret: I’ve gotten rid of some of that stuff.
Yes, you read that right. Moms are the stealthy guardians of tidiness. While my partner, Steve, tends to hoard everything from old coffee cups to outdated toys like he’s preparing for a zombie apocalypse, I’m the one with the hefty trash bags, ensuring our home doesn’t become a cluttered maze.
We dispose of the less-loved plastic animals—the ones that lack character and charm. The dollar store toys and the ones that have mysteriously lost their allure? Bye-bye! You may think that triceratops is your spirit dinosaur, but it’s going into the bag. And if you happen to notice something missing? We just play innocent, saying, “That old thing? It must still be lying around somewhere!” You’ll wander off, determined but inevitably distracted, and our secret remains safe.
We take advantage of cleanup time in your room, tossing out forgotten wooden dolls and plastic fish from games long lost to the abyss. We even sneak in during the night, picking up stray toys you’ve abandoned. You never realize they’re gone until it’s too late.
Ah, the stuffed animals—those plush creations that seem to multiply overnight. They arrive as gifts for every occasion, from holidays to spontaneous trips to the zoo. But as much as I love the fluffy octopus, it can’t stay if it means also keeping the Christmas bear and the third-best dragon. Some must go!
And so, we wait until you’re fully engrossed in your Legos or video games, then swoop in to gather the least-appreciated toys, discreetly bagging them for donation before you catch us in the act.
What if you do happen to notice? We feign ignorance, pulling out a broken action figure from the trash and handing it back, only to discard it again once you’ve left the room. After all, we can’t have broken toys taking up precious space.
It’s a necessity, really. If we didn’t act as the cleanup crew, our home would be overrun with stuffed animals, broken toys, and all sorts of forgotten treasures. This is all part of a public service, and one day, you’ll understand. Until then, consider us the ninja warriors of tidiness.
If you’re curious about other parenting tips, check out our post on home insemination for more insights. And for those looking to explore their options, Make a Mom offers great resources on at-home kits. For further reading on family-building options, you can refer to Resolve, an excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary
In this humorous take on parenting, Clara Jennings shares the sneaky tactics moms employ to declutter their kids’ myriad creations and toys without raising suspicion. The article highlights the balance between cherishing children’s creativity and managing household chaos, all while maintaining a light-hearted tone.