Valuable Life Lessons from Grandparents

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Growing up, I was surrounded by the wisdom of my grandparents, each with their own unique stories and experiences. My grandfathers, for instance, both served their country—one in Korea and the other in World War II. It’s a common narrative among many of us; our parents’ generation likely has stories of grandfathers from Vietnam. They often kept their experiences to themselves, a trait I found in my own grandfathers. My maternal grandfather, who went by Gramps, would only mention his time driving a truck in France, while my paternal grandfather, a decorated hero who saved lives by steering a burning tank back to base, was even more tight-lipped. He married my grandmother at just 15, and she stayed silent for two years while he was away, teaching us the value of discretion.

Having two sets of grandparents was a true blessing. I was especially close to Grams and Gramps, while my sister bonded more with Grandma Judy and Grandpa Joe. They were our go-to when we were unwell. I remember my sister recovering from pneumonia on Grams’ pull-out couch. Meanwhile, Grandma Judy made me buttery toast and read me The Adventures of Tom Sawyer. We were fortunate indeed.

Every family seems to have that quirky grandma—the one who wears offbeat clothes and speaks her mind without a filter. While adults might feel a twinge of embarrassment, we cherished their uniqueness. Grams, for example, had a collection of tiny dressed bears that filled her apartment, and her massive maroon Buick was a sight to behold. The phone etiquette with her was peculiar; we had to let it ring twice before hanging up and calling back, or she’d assume it was her long-winded friend Minerva. Grams taught us the importance of being unapologetically yourself.

On the other hand, Grandma Judy was more traditional, embodying the classic image of cookies and church on Sundays. She had black hair instead of the typical blue, and her most significant lesson for me was about cooking—particularly how to handle a knife safely. Tragically, she passed away when I was just 13, but I fondly recall our time together after school when I learned to chop celery and eventually graduated to more complex dishes.

Grandparents also embody loyalty. Often referred to as “the greatest generation,” they had roots that ran deep. Grandma Judy and Gramps were lifelong Catholics, attending the same church where they made their First Communion, and they even shared a class. Gramps devoted his time to various church roles, while Grandma Judy led the Women’s Club for many years. She was the one who introduced me to prayer, and when she passed, she was buried from that very church—now that’s commitment.

They also taught us the meaning of persistence. Whether it was Gramps working on carpentry projects or knitting a blanket over a year, their dedication was evident. Gramps had a passion for coin collecting, amassing a treasure trove of wheat pennies, bicentennial quarters, and rare $2 bills. By the time my kids came along, he had saved over $200 in those special quarters—a testament to his enduring patience.

More than anyone else, grandparents show us how to treat others. While they might have occasionally expressed outdated views, they also demonstrated kindness. Gramps and Grandma Judy had a favorite Greek diner they frequented, where they knew the waitstaff by name and always inquired about their lives. Their thoughtful engagement taught me the importance of being considerate towards everyone, and I carry that lesson into adulthood, making sure to connect with those who serve me and tip generously.

Through their lives, grandparents also guide us through the concept of death. The first real loss we often face is that of a grandparent. I felt the impact of Grandma Judy’s passing when I was just a teenager and sought solace in books, unable to confront the reality of her absence. Grams passed while I was in college, and per her wishes, she was laid to rest in her pajamas—a moment that brought tears to my eyes. Last year, Gramps’ passing marked another chapter of loss. Not being able to attend his funeral due to distance and other obligations was a painful reminder of family rituals and the bonds that tie us together.

In later years, Gramps has faced physical challenges, relying on a walker and experiencing memory lapses. His journey through the frailty of age has taught me about the human condition—about how bodies can fade, and the language of ailments like arrhythmia and embolism. While these lessons can be painful, they also help us embrace our humanity.

Though Gramps now lives nearly 700 miles away, our oldest son carries his name, a symbol of the legacy that continues. I recognize how fortunate I was to know my grandparents and to learn from their depth of love and life lessons. They were imperfect but extraordinary individuals, and I feel blessed to have been their grandchild.

Ultimately, those of us who had the privilege of knowing our grandparents are the lucky ones. Now, as an adult, I see how their teachings have shaped my life.

For more engaging insights about family and relationships, check out our other blog posts, including those that explore fertility and home insemination. You can also find valuable information on fertility treatments at UCSF’s IVF resources or consider supplements to boost fertility from Make a Mom.

Summary

Grandparents impart invaluable life lessons, from loyalty and persistence to kindness and the realities of loss. Their unique experiences and teachings shape our understanding of the world, making those of us who knew them incredibly fortunate.