Three simple words ring out to me on a regular basis. I hear them at parks, museums, grocery stores, and shopping malls: “Look at her!”
These words come from toddlers, school-aged children, groups of teens, and, regrettably, even adults. They are directed at my lovely daughter, 4-year-old Mia, who was born with a rare skin condition that causes her skin to be overly sensitive and prone to infections, leaving her with an appearance reminiscent of a severe sunburn.
Look at Her
Look at her? Look at that child who doesn’t quite fit the typical mold?
Yes, look at her. Look at her radiant smile that beams with joy, a laugh that bubbles up from her belly and spreads happiness to everyone nearby.
Look at her. Notice her stunning eyes, a dazzling blue reminiscent of a clear sky. Watch how they twinkle with joy and mischief, especially when she’s teasing her brother or engaged in a game of hide and seek. Her eyes also widen with trepidation whenever she hears the words “doctor” or “hospital,” reflecting her fears of needles and medical procedures.
Look at her. Observe her dance to her favorite tunes, spinning in her dress or throwing her arms up to “shake it off.” Just watch her instinctively nod her head to any beat, her little body moving in rhythm, as she attempts to sing along, her sweet voice striving to keep pace with the lyrics.
Look at her. See her fierce determination as she faces new challenges, often attempting physical feats that her peers mastered long ago. Witness her thrill as she slides down the park slide for the first time or tackles a flight of stairs on her own, beaming with pride at her small but significant achievements.
Look at her. Listen to the compassion in Mia’s voice when she asks why the little boy crying across the room is sad or why the woman in the grocery store seems unwell. Her own experiences with health challenges and hospital visits have instilled a profound sense of empathy in her.
Look at her. Notice her excitement when she’s at the playground, library, or even just the store. No matter where she is, Mia is thrilled to be there, eager to interact with others and embrace new experiences.
Look at her. Pay attention to her questioning gaze as her parents explain to yet another onlooker why she doesn’t look like everyone else. Watch as she wonders what’s wrong when her parents have to address unkind comments from other children, who may label her as “weird” or “creepy.”
Look at her. Observe her tenacity each new day. It may often appear as typical stubbornness of a 4-year-old, but it’s this very determination that gives her parents hope that she will grow up to be confident and assertive.
You might only notice her peeling red skin, shiny from lotion, during your first glance. You’re not the first to stare, and you certainly won’t be the last.
However, I hope you understand that Mia’s story encompasses so much more than your initial reaction. There’s a depth to her that goes beyond appearances. So, the next time you encounter my daughter or anyone who seems different, take a moment to look a little deeper.
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Summary:
This piece highlights the importance of looking beyond physical differences to truly see the individuality of children like Mia, who face unique challenges yet embody joy, determination, and empathy. The author urges readers to appreciate the deeper stories behind appearances and to foster understanding and kindness in their interactions.