They say “veil,” and honestly, that’s how it feels to me. It’s not that everything is phony, but there’s this delicate filter that beautifies our life experiences.
These days, my mornings start with a groggy sip of coffee around 7 a.m. after waking my three kids to remind them it’s a school day and nudging them to kick off their morning (or mourning) routines. I often plop down at our kitchen table, whip out my laptop, and within minutes, I’m scrolling through Facebook.
“What’s on your mind?” Facebook asks me every single morning. Well, thanks for your concern, Facebook! I usually end up sharing some sweet or inspirational quote from Pinterest, a snapshot of our family’s latest adventure, or expressing my excitement for the impending arrival of Baby Carter. Oh, and let’s not forget the obligatory selfie! I try to limit those to once a week—just in case my friends and family forget what I look like.
The new “memories” feature is a nice touch; I often share old photos of the kids, marveling at how cute they were and wishing time would slow down. I’ll typically caption it with something like, “They are so perfect!” followed by my go-to hashtag #blessed.
A couple of days ago, curiosity struck, and I logged out of my Facebook account to see how it looked from an outsider’s perspective. Wow! What a perfect family we seem to be! Seriously, we look so sparkly and ridiculously happy in every single picture.
It’s not that I’m trying to deceive anyone with my posts; I just prefer to avoid negativity, both in life and on social media, so I aim to keep things positive. But it’s crucial to understand that there’s much more beneath the surface than what you see while scrolling through your morning coffee, often subconsciously comparing yourself to these seemingly perfect families.
I can’t shake the image of my Facebook account viewed from the outside, and I feel compelled to share some truths with you.
Behind the Filter
For starters, that selfie? It was taken three weeks ago when I actually had a decent night’s sleep. Now that I’m in my third trimester, I’m lucky to get more than two hours of uninterrupted sleep before being jolted awake by a swift kick to the bladder, racing thoughts about the delivery, or my stomach growling at 4 a.m. after six long hours without food.
Right now, I’m lounging in pajamas I’ve worn for three days, sporting greasy hair thanks to a resurgence of morning sickness. I just snapped at my kids for opening yet another box of cereal when we already have three going stale. Meanwhile, I’ve got a tab open for “what is normal vaginal discharge in pregnancy” right next to Facebook. I’m so exhausted that I had to remind myself not to accidentally type that into my status instead of the search bar. The other tab? Our checking account, which always elicits a deep sigh as I ponder groceries, school pictures, sports sign-ups, and that dreamy “babymoon” we’d love to take before the baby arrives—if only the budget allowed.
But you won’t see any of that because it would shatter the illusion that I’m always this optimistic, health-conscious, yoga-practicing, effortlessly composed mom.
Oh, and by the way, the milk I put in my coffee? I’m pretty sure it expired last week. And that photo from our beach outing where we all look so delighted? That was the one shot we managed to snap amid Sister elbowing Brother, Brother rolling his eyes because he’s suddenly “too cool” for family photos, and my husband and I bickering about whether we should’ve splurged on pizza the night before. But hey, smile everyone!
Finding Balance
As I said, it’s not all a facade. I genuinely love my family and think we’re pretty amazing. I cherish using social media to share our moments with distant relatives or friends I don’t see regularly. I love posting uplifting quotes to hopefully brighten someone’s day amid the heavy political posts and other distressing content we encounter daily.
It’s vital for us all to remember that Facebook (and social media in general) presents real life cloaked in a veil. The messy, unappealing moments are conveniently filtered out, showcasing only the highlights of everyone’s lives. So, don’t fall into the trap of comparing yourself while mindlessly scrolling in the morning. We all have our struggles, our puffy eyes, and our peculiar Google searches (don’t pretend you don’t!). While we might not all sigh over our checking account balance, we each have our own “stuff” to deal with.
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In conclusion, let’s remember that behind every perfect post is a reality that often goes untold.