6 Challenges Faced by Highly Sensitive Moms

As a kid, I always sensed I was a bit different. People called me “shy,” but that never fully captured who I was. I enjoyed being around others, just not for too long; after a few hours, I felt drained—like I’d run a mental marathon.

I often heard that I needed to toughen up. I longed to be one of those resilient types who could easily block out the chaos of sights, sounds, and smells instead of feeling overwhelmed by them. It wasn’t until recently that I discovered a label that fit—I’m a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), a term introduced by psychologist Elaine Aron. About 15 to 20% of the population share this trait, and it’s not something to feel ashamed of. Thank goodness!

Understanding my sensitivity has been liberating. I’ve stopped fighting against it and instead, I’m creating a life that suits my needs. When I first became a mom, I wasn’t aware of my HSP nature, and let me tell you, motherhood felt like an overwhelming tidal wave of sensations. As time has passed, I’ve realized that I can’t be the mom who drags her kids around town every day or simply tunes out the constant noise of parenting. Here are six struggles that we highly sensitive moms often face:

1. Playdates Can Be Draining

It’s not just about the mess or the potential for a Mega Block incident. Even the thought of organizing a playdate can leave us spinning. We find it challenging to juggle adult conversations while monitoring the kids, as multitasking isn’t our strong suit. We enjoy playdates, but we often prefer them to be infrequent and brief.

2. Moms’ Nights Out? Maybe Not

While I adore my mom friends, I usually prefer one-on-one hangouts. After a full day of parenting, the last thing I want is to head out to a bar. We sensitive moms crave peace and quiet at the end of the day—maybe a little Netflix and a glass of wine instead.

3. We Absorb Emotions Like Sponges

I can pick up on someone’s distress as soon as they walk into a room, even if they’re trying to hide it. This sensitivity extends to our kids too; their emotional ups and downs can leave us feeling utterly drained. It’s a blessing and a curse, especially when our little ones are often emotional whirlwinds.

4. News Can Be Overwhelming

Since becoming a mom, I’ve found myself particularly affected by distressing news stories. When I hear about children in harm’s way, I can’t help but envision my own child. To maintain my emotional balance, I’ve had to limit my news intake, so I can stay calm around my kids.

5. Too Much Activity is Exhausting

I used to feel guilty for not wanting my kids enrolled in every activity under the sun or for not wanting our weekends packed to the brim. Turns out, I’m a homebody at heart, and it seems my kids are too. We enjoy fun, but we prefer it in moderation. Accepting this has been liberating.

6. We Love Our Kids, But We Need Space

I adore my kids more than anything, but being with them constantly is a challenge, especially as they grow into rambunctious little beings. After nearly a decade as a stay-at-home mom, I realize how much I could’ve used quiet time. For sensitive moms, breaks aren’t just a luxury; they’re a necessity.

So, if you know a highly sensitive mom, please don’t take our need for solitude personally. Our senses can easily become overwhelmed, and we need more downtime than most. However, our greatest strength is our ability to love deeply—whether it’s for our children, friends, or even strangers. When you take the time to understand us, we’ll open our hearts to you. Just handle them with care.

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Summary

Highly sensitive mothers face unique challenges in parenting, from the overwhelming nature of playdates to the emotional weight of daily news. Their need for solitude and moderation in activities is essential for their well-being. Understanding and accepting these traits allows them to thrive while nurturing their love for their children.